"There are things that must be answered individually Michael," suggested the woman picking up the thread of discourse in spite of hours they were on the couch with a steaming cup of coffee in hand.
Michael shock head staring at the dark liquid. "I thought it would be a couple ..."
"To live happily ever after," interrupted the woman to conceal a singsong tone and bored.
"No," objected the man decided - "to live forever sometimes happy sometimes desperate, but TOGETHER!"
Laureen nodded, pretending to consider Human reasoning: "So you still have the vision to couple who has a fourteen? "he asked neutrally.
Michael gave a grim laugh: "Two people who love each other ... especially in the face of this disaster should be together, to draw strength from each other. If not ... then it is useless to be together. "
" And this is the part of the philosophical question, "notes that the woman -" 'the practice is ; you call love a morbid need not to sink. I call it just 'I need you because otherwise I can not do, not because I love you'. "
" You might have a different philosophy of my life. "
"This is undoubtedly the case," granted the woman a smile, "the proof is that you have a strong and loving relationship as a couple and not by choice, not me. So obviously I have some problem on this point. But, unfortunately for you, I am a psychiatrist, you are my patient. "
"And you have to convince me of your philosophy of life?"
"No, I always like to highlight points in shadow. Things that I see why ... "
" Because you see the objective reality that I unequivocally and subjective doubt, "interrupted Michael and Laureen exploded in a merry laugh.
"It makes you laugh?" Said Michael poisoned. She had just said that Ben was going to be alone, abandoned, in fact, and she laughed.
"It should also make you laugh, or at least take heart. You have shown the theory to perfection, it means that the money in the end you have them thrown out the window! "
" Sure, "boasts Michael increasingly frustrated -" Too bad that the theory does not applies to practice. "
" The application now, "ruled Laureen decided, placing his cup on the low table. "Ben did not move, property. Without knowing what to do, with no exit in sight. You were still building to be with him. The result, and do not need to be a psychiatrist to figure it out, it was inevitable derailment of both in one way or another. Now you'd rather send him back? Why is what Michael would have happened, this is the reality that everyone has understood, all people who love you. But you and Ben before. Only you, now. "
" Really cool, I was the only one who does not understand, "smiled the man stupid and earned icy gaze of the doctor. "Self-pity reserves to the 'problem page' please."
Michael dived into the cup of his coffee and drank it in one gulp.
"Ben has found what may - and just maybe - it is a crack and in all its non-life and indifference in recent months has made a great act of love towards you. Tell you in no uncertain terms that he needs to make this journey alone. Because now he knows that if you do not succeed at least you'd be safe. "
"Except without him?" Opposed upset Michael.
"You're not Siamese twins. Do not share the same brain, lungs and heart, then I would say, yes, except without him. "
" So not worth it ... "
" What? & Rdquo ;
"Nothing ..."
"Say," ordered the woman determined.
Michael sighed, and his chin trembled with emotion on hold.
"Tell Michael."
"Living."
Laureen nodded and looked around. "Look! The walls were left standing, the floor has crumbled, we are still here even though you've just said inaffermabile, or that there are times where you think that life is not worth the worth living. "
Michael felt like he was crushed by a car which he had always had the fear as a child. One that engages the gear of the ceiling starts to fall in the castle of horrors. Only now had the feeling that would not stop.
"Michael," she recalled him, "love means not dependent on each other. Loving each other means some supportive, some have common objectives, to be sure to enjoy each other's company. But also understand when there are things that our partner can not solve. We are born alone and that people will die alone, Michael. The uniqueness of man, and his feelings is what makes us different from each other. There is no perfect match because there is no middle or soul mate to search for the world. There is us and only us. And sometimes, unfortunately, there's moments in life that we and only we can solve our own problems. Can not a friend, not a child, a parent can not, not even a psychiatrist. Nor can a companion. "
Michael oppose a deathly silence that inspired the words of the woman and stood up.
"I am happy you are in my life but I would live well without you. For this I love you: because I do not need you. "
Michael laughed again and it took all the self control of Laureen not foist a sadistic joke than instrumentally.
"And this is it?"
"Mia," she ruled. "Now look at me in the face and listen to what I have to tell you," she ordered in a tone that brooked no reply.
Michael did so because he knew that he could not help it.
"If the love you have for Ben is alive because you need to feel him feel better, if you have love for Ben is limited to 'without him I'm dead,' if the love you have for Ben 'No! Do not let go even if you're sick and is the only way that I see but I own that I do? 'Then let me tell you that I admit that I have it all wrong, but everything on your report. I thought you were a partner, you are a parasite. "
" What! "Asked Michael in a mixture of blind rage and consternation.
Laureen was standing in front of him, hands clasped to his chest, the face of intransigent: "I do not repeat a second time because you understand very well what I said."
"This is unbelievable!" Michael snapped, standing up and beginning to wander in the empty studio.
She merely looked after him, "Why do not you call Brian and tell him how bad I am? You know I think you would find in the right mood to listen to your pathetic petulance as it is furious with me for the same reason that you are. "
Michael did not answer and continued to shake his head in disbelief.
"Foul!" She challenged him - "Go to your friend to comfort you. That friend who has the right word for all and never once does not refrain from saying, sometimes at the cost of humiliating people, provided that it is not his Mikey, in the presence of which would give to every request! "
"I do not want to go to Brian, I want to be with Ben!" Michael shouted angrily.
"Ben wants to be alone," objected Laureen with a calm and cool not to make it appear not even human.
"Why?" He appealed again to Michael letting go of all that hostility, Laureen knew was dictated only by pain and anger, but not really belong to him.
So he went with his head down, then looked up into those of man: "Not to make you feel frustrated that in the last four months, not to see your eyes at the end of the day will be disappointed when , exactly as it is here in Pittsburgh. Thought with him, you put thy great expectations for you but is not guaranteed to work, Michael. And for sure the result does not depend on you. No way. And the failure would occur at that time. Not to mention the fact that Ben would try in every way not to disappoint you and begin to pretend. Pretend to feel better as did the other night. Prior to pretend for a bit 'then you would see the relief and what would become his reason for living. Pretending to make you feel good, to take one of the concerns. And then Ben would return a live, happy, friendly, available. But fake. "
Michael looked at her as he knows the next sentence, he knew that the damn woman was sentenced, his life depended.
Lauren sighed, and summoned all his professional detachment: "And a person in whom the pain is nested in nestled Ben, pretending for months or years to feel good is a person ... "
" Destined to go, "concluded Michael for you, showing you understand the reasoning but not quite, not in its most horrible conclusion.
Laureen nodded: "Go away, yes. In one way or another. "
The silence that fell on those words was palpable as they were immersed in a huge bubble of gelatin. Michael tried, tried in every way not to let his brain to decode what was the 'second way'. But he decoded the heart began to beat wildly: "Ben would never do that."
"are usually those who proclaim the right and left, who do not. Have you ever wondered why after a suicide everyone around you say 'did not seem to have problems'? Maybe because they are people who, as you say, they would not ever. "
were the years of field experience not to feel more like a punch in the stomach when he spoke or assumed a suicide.
remembered that during his university years, the argument more difficult for her to be addressed as a matter of their study was 'the dynamics of suicide'. Why would not know it. And he did not want to know how he did not want was found even a single symptom that could be traced back to itself.
"scare you?" Michael asked in a hoarse whisper because of the lack of saliva in the mouth.
"No, I just want to export the views possible. Not sure, Michael, but possible. There are many, but among the many there, too. That's why 'is not good to live in a fairy tale' as you asked at the beginning of the session. Because when you wake up, you run the risk of finding the intractable reality. "
Michael swallowed and lowered his head sad.
"This does not mean you have to let go of Ben only in the light of this beautiful moth that I have made up his mind. You have to let it go because it is the first glimpse of a lifestyle and you know it. And we see more openings, more 'the other way' becomes unlikely. Ben will face the reality in this way, really perceive all the pain and then, if it returns the horrors of his inner death, then it will be alive and not a survivor. "
Michael nodded, feeling very bones tremble. "And the fact that they do not want you is because he knows that you have another location, our, you are watching alone in fact. Leaves you free to decide your life your way. I think this a great gesture of love. "
Michael breathed finally arriving at the head of intricate reasoning that had nothing to tortuous than that of its linear path his mind had decided to disseminate ghosts and characters worthy of a museum of horror.
"Sit down, Michael," then ordered her walking to the desk and the man obeyed, docile.
"Now tell me, another view is that Ben can resolve his inner drama back to life and realizes that no longer has the need or the desire or the passion to be with you. You how I take it? "
Michael gulped:" I wish him every happiness in the world. I am glad I finally know would be happy. Certainly more than I think of it as seen in the last month or worse. "
Laureen smiled with sweet expression, emotion, and perhaps nostalgic. She had never been in love with anyone that way and knew she was missing something important.
"But I'll wait!" Michael suddenly erupted with renewed force like that his purpose in life - "Although I will continue to live, sure, but I will wait and if and when they want to go back, no tomorrow, it was a year was ten, I'll be waiting! "
The woman smiled again," So what are you waiting to go home and tell him? "
the Michael looked at her with grateful eyes and wet, "I'm sorry for what I said before ..."
Laureen shook his head: "Do not worry. It would have been worse I had not told you! "
****
"Yes, it is playing, return to the airport now," Justin verdict holding the phone that he was talking to Daphne between head and shoulder, hands full with two cups of cappuccino.
smiled at Rita, who smiled warmly and nodded to Matt that he motioned that he would need to free him soon.
"We do not know, I think next week is to be seen. I think the end is also Michael with us as Ben comes to you, "she continued, placing his back on the glass door of the office of Brian -" and maybe I do a quick trip to Chicago, "said a voice a bit 'lower for do not listen to his companion sitting at his desk.
handed the cappuccino to Brian
and walked to the farthest area of the office to continue the conversation: "Yes everything is fine. It was only a moment, then I reflected on your words, "she whispered.
Brian looked at him from the desk to ask: in thirty years had the secrets to her friend's heart?
"Go quiet, everything is under control, it was only a moment defaiance. Now I greet you, they are in office ... "Daphne said, hoping that he understood the message between the lines.
"Ok, see you soon, a kiss. Hello.
He put the phone in his pocket and started to desk where Brian continued to observe it.
"Match the happy family?" Brian asked while sipping his drink, "Why do you insist on taking it from Taco? It sucks. "
Justin chuckled," Why is the closest. Yes, the family has left, is safe on a plane direction of Malibu. "
Brian nodded.
"E we have the flight booking in ten days, "he said laying on the desk of his comrade and closer to the glass legs that Brian got up on him a lascivious gaze.
"Ten days alone ..." he whispered with Justin already short of breath. Their knees came into contact.
"What are your plans to occupy all this tide of time?" She whispered, leaning on the partner and by matching the tips of their noses.
persuasive Brian smiled and clapped a hand to test the partner's ass, hard as marble
"In addition to the office and your schedule?"
Justin only sighed deeply at the touch of human hand on his butt: "We will not allow any of this to spoil our own holiday ..."
When they were about to kiss Matt raided the office: "Justin Oops ... sorry, sorry! "red in the face froze suddenly snap back to Justin, which rotated the chair to Brian and his fiery eyes rested on him.
"I had to knock ..."
"Yes, you should have," Brian severe verdict.
"Excuse me, really. It's just that I need advice for urgent Justin graphical presentation tomorrow ... "
Brian sighed, and with the gesture of a hand beckoned to Justin that he could sit down to hold high the tide of Kinnetik.
The boy smiled at Matt and he reached out with the office, giving Brian a soft kiss on his desk.
Brian snorted picking up your cappuccino. "We will not allow anything to spoil our own holiday!" Mimicking repeated skeptically with the emergence of Justin.
He took a sip and immediately threw the container into the trash: "Fuck Taco too!"
'5 Minutes Alone '- Pantera
http:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3Txvt6tTKo
*****
"Thanks," awarded Michael with all his open-minded and sincere.
"Hold on to thank me," objected the woman look smart, "there is the issue mobile phone."
Michael raised his eyebrows surprised: "What ? "asked capendoci not really anything.
"You have taken the number of Hunter?" She asked, already knowing the answer.
"No," concluded Michael - "One of the missions that you had given me that I missed," he joked, hoping that would end up there knowing that it would not.
Laureen shrugged: "It's the only one who can do here now."
Michael's breathing became labored at the idea.
"Get the phone and remove the number from the phonebook Michael Hunter. Now, "she imposed without showing the slightest human empathy.
"I can not."
"It is much easier than it looks. Especially with new cell phones: calls your name, then pressing the button ... "
" I know how to do it, "cried Michael exhausted.
"And then do it."
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I can not," pleaded the man.
Laureen nodded: "You know Michael, keep heading in a number you do not call anymore and from which you will never be called equivalent to mummify the body of our beloved dead, dress, speak, feel in his company. It's the same concept. That body does not respond to us anymore because he died. And of course there will telephone, "exhibited in a display of steady platitudes Michael felt so cruel eyes burn with anger.
"Is that what you want?" Church challenges, "There!" He said, taking the phone number on the opening of Hunter and deleted without batting an eye. Then he threw the phone on the desk until it got the woman. Laureen stopped the unit circle with one hand and calmly took it and handed it to Michael.
"Feel better now?" He asked himself.
"After have erased the number? No, "objected Michael.
"No, after she challenged. Is this also a kind of therapy, not to believe. "
" But the number should have erased me feel better, "Michael grinned.
"Absolutely!" She agreed with obvious expression.
"Of course! Now I go home, take his clothes and throw them in the garbage, smashing his bedroom and we do a bonfire! "
Laureen shrugged:" Or take his clothes and presents them to the association of which Hunter was a member and who volunteers among boys street, disassemble his bedroom and goes back to the Vic Grassi House. "
Michael parted mouth at that KO so well settled as not to have even caused too much pain. His eyes moistened and a tear fell.
"This is the life of a person? Dies and we get rid of all its memories and away we go ... "
Laureen sighed impatiently when instead of pretending to fully understand the bond that holds related morbid people live free of unnecessary items that belonged to the deceased.
"Yes, in principle, this is life," concluded nasty - "It is if you do what you said to do so furiously, trying to support a line neurotic, "he added.
Michael did not answer and continued to cry. "Do all of this makes sense," said the woman picked up Michael and a painful look on her - "This hand is not mine. It is Hunter. "
Michael blew his nose and thought it would not survive long. Surely his heart during those months had suffered many such attacks and that he could go on strike since that time.
"Michael," called attention to the woman gently, "A phone number staccato, a room full of furniture unusable, a clothes closet, are not memories. They did not wish to disconnect from the pain. Are wanting to remember every moment of pain to live with him. "
In your opinion, I do not want to break away from pain?" Michael asked incredulously.
"Yes, why do you think this pain is the only thing that still binds him. The only tangible thing, the only emotion that you want to try and keep trying for fear of forgetting. What right have I to go on living when he is dead? So you keep everything close to remind you that he has been, that thou hast loved, and above all to remind you how much you have suffered from his exit. So there's no risk of forgetting it. Why kill him forget it really means. What I do not understand is that getting rid of the pain attached to it will remain only memories. What do you make it unforgettable. Think of him, cry, smile, but thank heaven or whoever you want to have at least had. And then his life has had meaning. Here's what Hunter was trying to make you understand and you told me you do not understand.
As I told Ben not have to search for a meaning in his death but during his life. You said that life is meaningless. It is not true. It has the sense that we give ourselves Michael, just that. And a phone number in the phone book does not make sense. It makes sense that Hunter has changed his life in yours. "
Michael looked at her and began to sob tears finally a less painful, more liberating. And Laureen had to swallow several times not to allow the eyes to moisten.
"It makes sense to take a letter I wrote back to you said that he loved you, make sense of the picture, it makes sense to keep his favorite shirt to wear, it makes sense to read the book he was passionate about and you never taken into account to understand what had sent him. It makes sense to keep a sms maybe a year ago in which no reason has told you that he lacks, but does not make sense to keep the last he wrote, perhaps with a simple 'please remember to bring a change' just because it is the last and you will always remember that you will not receive more than ever, making you sink into the pain. It makes sense to continue to be the Michael that you have become since she entered the your life. Because from that exact moment you are no longer was Michael, but you were with Michael Hunter. It makes sense to learn his lesson. You yourself have said that there was a given. He asked you, you make sense of Michael. Do it. Michael let go of the pain, do not you need it most. "
The man felt like he had died in turn. Or at least as it was rumored it feels when you die. Ethereal. No longer perceive the body, only a never before experienced the sensation of fullness and serenity.
"Although not suffer from the departure of Ben makes sense," he said.
Laureen just smiled and take a hand.
'Better In Time' - Leona Lewis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zlt57Q7ZVU
****
Justin finished the last infinitesimal detail of the painting. The limit for exposure to Casey. And he wondered if he would accept.
coming out of all the schemes used by Justin. There was nothing abstract, there were no metallic colors, dark colors, blacks or reds, gray brush to break the dark lines, vaults that were not the beginning or end.
No. It could not be a 'Justin K. Taylor 'perhaps a very classic Renoir.
Beautiful countryside, vivid, human subjects.
a human subject. A woman with long hair and dark, shoulder, wearing a green velvet dress in large flakes. It was not a modern woman, perhaps even during the period was the Civil War, you could tell by the style of the dress.
He was on the edge of a stream and watched a wicker basket. A classic picnic basket whose contents had been covered by more than a classic plaid tablecloth.
A classical and without a shred of originality. But he had painted in a one day, the day before.
Then he returned to the loft, had come out with Brian, as they swept in dark for years did not happen, you were drunk, they danced, then they remade sex at the loft. Anywhere but in bed. Finally free to say and do what they wanted in each place in the apartment.
But the next morning, after Brian had left for the office, an impulse to return to Britin had caught him and had got in the car and headed to his studio, although he had already crossed into view of the holidays.
It had finished the painting with a simple touch of light green on the right edge.
Apply to superfluous. Useless. That that picture did not add anything.
He stood staring at him, sighing with one hand resting on the chin.
was not in his style but it was what came out so naturally that was able to observe it as if it were someone else.
He had not a shred of originality.
He would had for the patrons of the gallery and maybe even for Paula.
But it was not.
No reference could unlock the secret embedded in the picture, and he would not have revealed. Would have remained unsold, and just, but he did not care.
He would not tell anyone, not even Brian that there were no food in the basket for a picnic but a baby ready to be entrusted to the stream.
'She' - Green Day
