"You tell me what is your problem? "Justin asked entering the room with glass wall that opened onto the terrace.
Brian looked at him imprisoned in the back: "I've already said, I have no problems, just a little 'hot and the prawns which were to be still alive, judging from the pinch I feel in the stomach, " said, lighting a cigarette.
"Perhaps the pinch in the stomach are the symptoms that you're reaching the limit of tolerability for a holiday with your family!" Notes that the boy was wearing torn jeans and a tight t-shirt Armani.
Brian merely a snorting chuckle. So now it was his fault, as everything from script.
"Maybe ..." granted obnoxious heading to the stairs.
"It is not home we can not go to take a shower, "the tow Justin and Brian had to close my eyes and breathe in all the patience that could not collect send him to hell in a little elegant.
"What do you want from me?" He asked with a calm but firm tone, turning to look at him.
Justin looked in his eyes, looking just as firm, hard: "First of all I wish that I stopped treating me as a kid."
"And this you've already stated before, "Brian gave her back leaning against the balustrade of the stairs and crossing his arms to his chest.
"And you 'bout to do it in front of others," Justin went up to him. Brian looked at him without speaking.
"I'm not your son, not Gus, stop making paternalistic with me and get me the notes like that in front of everyone. Brian grew up, are no longer the little boy of seventeen. I have the mental capacity to choose for myself without the need of your arguments! "
Brian looked down, smiling a bitter smile, then nodded tired, "You've always done," he said.
Justin nodded and sighed trying to calm the furious wave of anger that had caught him just before the table. A rage that even he was able to explain to the end. It was not only for the condescending tone of his companion, was something that made him tick as a knife in the belly.
What was it?
What words was fired?
Perhaps Brian's words were read by his unconscious as an attempt to stop him, stop his plans. But would not stop, not now.
"Why do not you want to do the campaign for the gay association," he asked looking at his companion who had left to consume the cigarette between his fingers.
Brian snorted a slight sigh, tired, "I guess I explained it to me I can not afford. And you should know because you know that for October and November I have two major campaigns for two new major customers. "
Justin nodded," I would have done otherwise, "he asked pointing and approaching those damn those blue eyes Brian looked at him and said nothing.
Justin broke into a smile knowingly and shook his head.
"Take courage. In three days we go home! "Ruled ironic clapping pat on the shoulder before you turn around and leave again to reach the friends.
Brian followed him with his eyes. Motionless, silent. He blinked, trying not to think too much, and continuing to blame the stomach to food.
He lit a cigarette and walked to the second door.
look to the table. Mel had taken place there and argued with Justin and Lindsay. Lindsay pointed to the house with one hand, a sign that they were talking about him, yet.
Children playing tag screaming loudly when Gus appeared from behind a chair or a deck with water guns leveled.
There it is: the room of a villa in Malibu with his family from whom, Justin, had just accused of trying to escape.
Perhaps he was right?
The heat was unbearable, it was not always used to eat lunch, not to go to the gym, to share their spaces around the clock with the whole tribe.
The 'family' had call Justin.
He defined it that way always, it was.
were people who had chosen for life and which, in this way, had given the power to open the doors shut behind him.
that day had not understood. But then they had never done, nor had ever tried to do so. But he had the same choices.
had made the right choice?
The subtle question popped into her brain even before seeing it. He had not ever given the entry even though he knew her from somewhere. But being accused of being tired from a family friend who did not realize that he was the one who was running away chasing dreams that would not be finished ever had surprised him and made weaker.
And so the question had first found the door wide open awareness.
slid along the table and his eyes met the eyes of Michael, was looking at him, ignoring friends' discussions.
Brian stared for a moment in those eyes of his friend. Do not they smiled, not exchanged nods of agreement.
It was a moment when one read the other's feelings.
And for this, Brian immediately lowered his eyes, turned and disappeared from view window.
'Suspicious Minds' - Elvis Presley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxlGioADs3I
****
"You have escaped the promenade along the sea with ice cream and cotton candy? & Rdquo ; Lindsay smiled sitting next to Brian on the beach.
"You also seem to me," retorted the friend throwing the cigarette between thumb and forefinger to cause a light in the dark parable of the sand that was mixed with the sea.
Only the light of the terrace of the house rented by Brian and Justin on holiday, not far away, the lighted portion of the beach where they were seated, thus allowing to understand where the sand ended and the sea begins.
was a night of new moon but the absolute lack of humidity that characterized the coast of California given a clear and starry sky like a planetarium.
"Can I sit with you," asked the woman tying up her neck she wore a white sweatshirt.
Brian chuckled, "I are already sitting, I think. "
Lindsay looked at his profile and smiled:" I'm sorry for the attack you suffered at the table today, "he tried. It was his typical: first attacked and then apologized.
Brian shrugged: "Nothing you do not know how to handle, quiet. Now I've made the call. "
She nodded:" The fact is that ... "
" Lindsay, " Brian tow in the bud - "if what you're trying to do is to use the influence that undoubtedly have on me to persuade me to change my mind, forget it. I said I can not do it and I will not. "
The woman nodded slowly:" It was not my intention. Anyway, I understand why you can not do it. "
Brian just nodded thinking why, if he had understood, had turned against him. But as always, held their own recriminations.
"I'm sorry for discussion with Justin."
Brian laughed heartily this time: "If you learn to stop sorry for things that do not concern you would live much longer serene. "
Lindsay sighed, grabbed the cigarettes placed alongside the cross-legged friend and lit one.
"In addition there has been no discussion with Justin, or at least, nothing that is not normal of two people who have been together for centuries. You and Mel do not argue that? "
" Obviously, yes, "replied Lindsay piccata. Brian tried in every way to persuade us that there were deeper problems but she knew that there was. It was not the debate itself, was aware of, since the conditions that that discussion had uncovered.
"So what?"
She almost sighed impatiently: "And so I know that it is difficult have the feeling of being left behind for something that we think the other judges most important, but it is not. "
Brian turned a questioning look on her:" You know? Strange because I know it's you the one he had left behind something and not the other way. "
Lindsay raised his eyebrows and nodded peak:" You were telling me that you had to try, test, live otherwise my dreams ... "
"I remember what I told you," the tow man for the second time.
"So why this should not apply to Justin?" She asked with upper air thinking of putting it on the ropes, presenting the result of an equation that could not be questioned.
Brian snorted a small laugh from the nose, "Why is not the same thing."
"Which is different?"
"The fact that you had chosen the family at the expense of your artistic dreams, he has both," Brian confessed. It was amazing how Lindsay could always make him talk. There must be something diabolical in that woman!
"Indeed," given her - "and now is going through a time when ..." He stopped watching the sea, as if they could escape the dark shadow of better word to understand what Brian intends to communicate. "The ... commitments in excess of those working families and he devoted more, but that means nothing. "
Brian sighed to anything that Lindsay was proposing the mess up with the concepts.
"I know very well that means nothing. As I knew he would do so sooner or later. I always knew Linds, because I know Justin for thirteen years. I know that the family would not be enough as not only the art would suffice. So who wants everything all at once and wanted to spend as much time and energy to all the same. But I know also can not do it. "
The woman sighed," Okay, you're right, with the history of the gay movement, has won three months of working full immersion, but they are three months Brian. "
aware He nodded, smiling:" No it will be, "ruled then leaving her friend staring at him blankly.
He shrugged his shoulders: "When will the proposed new museum, a new exhibition, a maybe work in Canada or Europe, and he will not be able to say no. Why is it done so, is in its nature. He loves challenges and he jumps in without assessing the consequences. His whole life is. It was thus with me, with Luise, with Scarlett, with the Pink Posse. It takes only the heart. lives for not chasing targets to achieve them. "
Lindsay said his friend frantically trying to say something in the brain but not finding.
"But to me it's fine," said Brian sincere closing their shoulders - "except that it is no longer a stimulus to continue to have a work in progress, even as a growing person is no longer his dreams and his art Linds. It's becoming an obsession. Now it's like a drug, it wants more and more often. And like any addict, do not realize it until he loses everything he has around him. "
Lindsay held a deep sigh, biting lip: he was right then? Brian's words concealed a deeper malaise than just bickering between teammates.
"So why not stop it if you have this vision so clear?" She asked, frightened by the words of Brian. She had gone to comfort him and make him see reason and as always, she found herself having to be her to reflect on his words.
"Why do today what I tried to do," asked the astonished friend - "When I told him I want to take you from all sides also thought you'd say that because I feel neglected? "
" No, "she admitted sadly.
Brian picked up a shoulder and threw her head sideways: "And what is it worth? To take the one that treats it as a kid and that is hysterical because I tired to be with you. What should I do? "He asked defiantly.
He wanted to help him? She found the solution!
"Justin loves you and Scarlett loves, "ruled the woman trying to convince Brian to something that he knew more than it was her.
"I know Linds. I told you that I have no problem with that. But I'm afraid he'll to have them. "
" How? "
" When you realize that he can not run for a lifetime. That the piece that everyone feels faint within him, not because there will never in reality. That the euphoria that a new project is a way to feel alive, but the euphoria is not happiness, is a feeling exactly like un'estremizzazione sadness. It can not last forever. And I fear that when they have already thrown in the toilet realize the opportunities that life had placed in his way and he, with his eyes fixed on the next mirage, was ignored. "
& ldquo , Brian, "she tried without knowing more than say.
"I told you Linds, it's like a drug. Do not do it to prove something to someone, do not do it for artistic pleasure. He does it because he can not help it. And like any addict ... "concluded Brian sighing and lowering his voice to a whisper -" Nobody can do anything for him. Must get him to slam the muzzle. As in all things, anyway. "
She stared in one of his silence. Brian looked at for a while longer than necessary and smiled. "It's like you. You are the same, "he said softly -" That's why I love you. "
Lindsay's eyes at those words filled with tears and emotion caught the warm and overwhelming.
"And then he starts whining," teased the Brian shook his head.
Lindsay pulled up the nose and wiped a tear with a finger: "Stop being stupid."
"let's go home to drown your sorrows in whiskey," Brian suggested getting up and shaking the sand off.
Lindsay sat and stared at him without speaking, her long blonde hair waved in front of the face with the ocean breeze.
"What? Is it the whiskey? Because you know what usually happens between you and me after we get drunk? This should make you jump from here at home! "Brian teased with a smile, the playful on his face.
"No," Lindsay ruled profoundly serious.
Brian shook his head question: who was then sitting to sit motionless staring at the same pace as x-ray?
"I know you're tired of being with us," she whispered as she pushed through a smile on her face - "I know. And I also know Justin. "
Brian, struck in his deepest emotions, dropped the hand that led to her friend and looked away to the sea. "You know Linds, I think the most important thing is that I know," notes that before you turn and head for home.
'Misunderstood' - Robbie Williams
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v = Mc30I_pUmTM
*****
"Truth is truth whether anyone believes it?"
Daphne leaned her cheek on her hand and closed his eyes. For sure he would fall asleep she was sure, the philosophical dissertations by Ben and Robert the bored to death.
she was always more practical, less bizarre.
"Of course, there is always the truth," Ben said in an impassioned debate in months.
"How to prove it," asked the husband of Daphne a mosquito with a crushing blow on his arm so hard that he came to Daphne - "Nietzsche has dealt with this issue long before of you! "said the girl getting up from the table where they dined together," and with the same results barbosa: me asleep on the books. "
Robert looked at his wife and chuckled to himself by pulling ;, Ben turned his almost annoyed look.
For once he felt involved in an argument!
"You can continue to put each other questions that have no response until tomorrow because you find it so funny. I'm going to bed, 'said the girl, smiling and stroking the head of a man leaned to kiss her.
"Night."
"Night."
It was then that Long Xi burst into their hut, his face flushed and short of breath, "Dr. Robert Help, help Dr. Robert!" Cried the child without another word.
The three adults turned to him and alarmed Daphne joined him racing crouch in front of his terrified face, "What is Long Xi, what happens?"
"Fire, fire!" said the boy in an English eccentric and made it almost incomprehensible terror.
"Where the fire," asked Robert alarmed.
"Mother, sister, fire! Help Dr. Robert "
In a moment all rushed out of the shed.
****
Brian let out a long contented sigh rolled away from the body of Justin, after removing the condom and threw it where happened.
He was breathing with your eyes closed enjoying the absence of any kind of thought of the post orgasm.
mate at his side moved after a few moments to go to the bathroom and wipe.
Brian breathed quietly for a few moments later there was strength and opened his eyes and leaned over the table to light his cigarette.
After a few moments Justin went back to bed and lay down beside him by removing the cigarette from his hand.
Brian sighed with a smile and lit another.
They sat smoking in silence, his head in the hollow of the shoulder Brian Justin, the man's arm to receive the partner's neck while his hand He made drawings distracted on his chest.
The next day they returned to Pittsburgh and should not be any need to have sex, given the time. Two people with a bit 'of salt, four hours after their departure would have stayed.
ten days, especially if they were having sex regularly twice a day.
fact that the original intention had been.
But Scarlett had them ripped out of sleep with a crying and when Brian had reached her, the girl had told him that he had a nightmare: he was dead.
Brian had spent a good half hour with his daughter to console her, convince her that it was just a dream, and argue with her about what, in those days, had become the obsession of the child: death.
Nothing strange, all of physiology.
Brian knew that children at some point in their lives have a morbid curiosity for the death because they start to develop it and they need all the help possible.
Brian remembered that many years ago saw a movie, a character said: 'Many people wonder exactly when you stop being children and become children, then young men, and all replied that there' is a precise moment. But it is not true. There is an exact moment. Stop being a boy the day he discovered the existence of death '.
He explained to his daughter that yes, it would happen one day but it was a day so long ago that she did not have to worry about it now. And that day she was an adult and would have friends, perhaps a companion, perhaps a child, in short a life that did not depend on more than that of the father.
And the little girl asked him if he was dead 'grandpa' to him was not disappointed.
Brian had tried to give answers more consistent and easy to understand the logic of immature and Scarlett had found to talk to her about Jack. Lying.
had told her of a happy childhood, a loving father, strong, who had taught him many things and now he was always close to him even though he could not see.
When Scarlett was left finally overcome by sleep, come back in Brian's room wide awake and had just found Justin awake.
The result was logical.
was at that moment of silence satisfied that Brian came back to mind the words spoken to his daughter and thought back to Jack.
"What?" Justin said that now he knew every change of mood by the way mate just sigh.
Brian put out his cigarette and leaned back on the pillows: "Do you know the only good memory I have of my father?"
Justin was not surprised ; argument 'Jack Kinney' as Brian, on his return to the chamber was updated on the conversation with Scarlett.
"Yes, I know. When they went bowling. "
" Yeah, "confirmed Brian. "And you know it is the best memory?"
"Because the rest was an asshole?" Said Justin still leaning on his chest.
Brian laughed: "In addition to this."
"No."
"Why play with me. And I thought he enjoyed, even though it was obvious that they do not, but I could not know. "
Justin raised his eyebrows trying to follow a discourse that had become suddenly more complicated than its ears.
"I mean," continued the man perceiving the partner's hesitation - "It is not that an adult can really have fun playing with a child. My father could not enjoy an evening to see me that I pulled off the track almost all the balls in the end and he could not even get a sound to strike not mortify. But he laughed and I thought he enjoyed. And that was enough. All it took so much to ensure that I have a decent memory of my father. "
Justin cleared his throat and sat up, turning his eyes on the fellow.
"Brian, sorry but do not follow you," he said with a cheerful smile. That philosophizing was four o'clock in the morning?
Brian looked at him with steady eyes, unsmiling and Justin, not even a real anxiety because he felt a knot in my stomach.
"What I mean is that ..." the man paused, sighed, then said - "... How to Play with Gus when I play, or watch a cartoon with Scarlett, or I'm three hours to put up a frost not I have fun playing baseball. But the end of a parent is not to have fun. If I want to enjoy going out with friends, I watch a porno, I'm going to dance. Of course I'm going to watch 'Ice Age five'! But you know Sunshine, the fact that I enjoy does not mean that, when Scarlett's watching me to see if I even laugh with her, when Gus is watching me to see if he likes something that amuses me too, I'm pretending and that I would be anywhere but there. Because I know what they feel and see that I share with them something they like, and that's the thing that satisfies me and makes me do one thing alone and that I would never be bored to death. "
"Brian sorry, I understood the concept but I did not understand why ... "
" Did you really get the idea? "Brian asked with a tone that Justin, for no reason, he felt a chill on ice : but what was going on?
The boy only shook his head with a bewildered look and question.
Brian smiled an inscrutable smile, "The concept is that the fact that you do not play cards with you after lunch, you hate the boat trips all together, you hate birthday parties and gatherings at the home of Debbie, that these things do not amuse myself in other words, does not necessarily imply that I bored you, I want to be somewhere else and I was getting tired. "
Justin parted mouth uttering a slight sigh to decode the thinking of Brian. He remembered the words of the first two days and if they repented.
He thought then to have to provide reassurance.
smiled: "I know Brian. I know, "granted with look and tone sincere.
Brian nodded and got out of bed, "So if you know it," judgments before giving it back to fix an icy gaze on him - "after seven fucking years, do me a personal favor, stop continue to question that, "ruled before turning to head to the bathroom.
Justin felt himself sinking, as if the bed had turned suddenly into a pool of quicksand.
"Brian! I said bullshit, sorry I was pissed and ... "
"An applicant Justin bullshit," tow the fellow in the doorway of the room. He was calm, quiet, did not use recriminatorio tone. He was simply stating a truth that was always there and that only the light that had caused the disturbance in the speech made by Scarlett and the memory of his father had pushed to the surface.
But Justin was not perhaps to teach him to speak? Not to keep it all inside?
Now he was talking about.
"The fact," continued tossing his head to one side - "is that it is bullshit as you say, is the projection of your own insecurity, fear of your own that you have not yet removed from the head. But that's your problem Sunshine, not mine. And because it's true that now more than six adult and I'm not your father, is now beginning to see it for what it is and fix it. "
Justin stared at his companion without reply.
Brian smiled: "And now we sleep at least three hours, otherwise, tomorrow we will be in pieces, "given before closing the bathroom door behind him.
'Mouth For War' - Pantera
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-N0j3tsMFM
*****
Ben stood with eyes closed and chin lifted to enjoy the drops of water from the shower that removes the soot that had stuck on him.
remembered when the bomb exploded at Babylon, seven years earlier. It experienced the same feeling.
water would clean up the outside but for his state of mind could do nothing.
At the time Michael was worried to death, was now irrelevant. Even what he had done.
After the desperate plea of the child, had run out, and had come to the cabin that housed three families in the field: the flames were devouring everything.
components of the three families were rescued, missing only his mother and sister Xi Long. It was absurd to even think of to use a fire extinguisher. The fire had become uncontrollable, the only thing to do was wait for everything to consume self-extinguish.
Daphne had picked up the little Xi Long, who kept crying and asking to Dr. Robert to help his mother and his sister. Hugged him unable to tell him that there was nothing left to do for them. Ben enchanted and powerless in the face of greed could hear the chanting of the flames of the small, incapable of resigning, he continued to ask to save his family. It was a lullaby, like a litany by now, as if the baby had realized that you could not do anything else but continues to ask how she was praying someone above them.
was when the child interrupted the litany, away from Daphne decided to spare him the sight of horror, that Ben and Robert together perceived now tired of the cries from behind the house.
They had looked at each other and in a silent agreement had run into the back to find the mother of healthy Long Xi and stored outside the home. She was sitting on the floor and showed a room in the house shouting a name that had not understood, but it was clear to everyone who was calling the woman.
Ben sighed when a slight feeling of sadness took possession of his soul at the sight of a mother who watched helplessly the death of her daughter.
But Robert, who had not lost in a world of his own, he realized that the woman's finger pointed to a specific point. A sort of tunnel consists of two huge axes that burning, falling, had crossed each other leaving a small smoke-filled corridor.
out of there was the woman? E Xi Long?
Robert looked around and ran to tear a sheet from the wires stretched out, soaking in a puddle of water nearby.
Only then Ben had become aware of the intentions of the boy: "It is madness Robert, you can not do it!" Intimate pragmatic.
"I try, I will not let a child die in a year without anything groped!"
"Probably is already dead, if not burned, suffocated by the smoke, "said Ben rationally.
"I must try, however, Ben!"
The man had tried a wave of anger because the boy persisted in wanting to do the impossible? There was nothing to do, everyone knew. He risked his life and for what?
When Robert had put on the wet sheet, Ben had looked around, hoping there was Daphne groped to deter him.
But there was, there were only two of them. Everyone else had been spellbound and helpless on the front of the cabin just waiting to collapse.
Ben had watched the tunnel, and then Robert had thought that probably a few minutes time Daphne would have to mourn the death of her husband, and those people the death of their beloved Dr. Robert. It was crazy, and Robert was too important to afford it.
why Ben was not until she pulled the sheet off of the boy without even realizing it could and in a moment he crouched on the ground crawling inside the smoky tunnel.
When he was released, about three minutes later, he observed the faces that were a mixture of concern and hope that Robert, Daphne, Long Xi and the mother of two babies .
In arm holding the child, who was not breathing.
Robert ran the meeting and took the child stand on the floor and trying to revive her under the gaze of the expectant mother, Daphne had joined him and had spilled a bucket full of water to quench skin burning like when you're in front of a blazing fireplace.
The water had given relief to Ben that, immediately after he found himself standing next to Daphne to look at Robert, who alternated between a light heart massage to a mouth / nose of the small-mouth.
It was an eternal moment, suspended in the lack of time. Up to that at some point, had little coughing.
was alive!
had made it. Had made it! Ben had saved her.
The mother began to cry and took his daughter in his arms embracing the 'Doctor Robert' and crying on his shoulder throughout his gratitude.
Daphne had run by Ben and instinctively embraced him: "You saved you saved it!" He repeated squeezing emotion.
Ben had returned the hug with his eyes fixed on Robert, who smiled at him.
Without trying anything.
"Frozen" - Within Temptation
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