"It was Michael? All right? I'm back from vacation, "asked Daphne on the door of the shed to Ben, after having reached and waiting quietly concluded that the phone call.
evening was a rainy and humid and although the girl had already endured two months of the Cambodia's tropical climate, had not yet been used to struggle to breathe and feel the sweat dripping on me not even moving.
Ben nodded escape the gaze of the beloved: "Yes, all right, have returned a few days now, But I guess you know that Justin is not it? "he asked quietly that it clashed with the discomfort that revealed the words.
Daphne shrugged: "It was just to make conversation," notes that the flat and the edge of irritation.
offering the job to Ben was certainly not expected that as if by magic, all their problems and suffering disappear suddenly, but for sure she had not expected even float languidly on his events.
Had followed him during the lessons to the children in those moments respite gave him anxiety and he was smiling and friendly. The children laughed and he with them. That proved too smart as Daphne had always claimed it was not telling the little worlds that they did not know and that they were better than theirs. It would be an evil inhuman to think of those children that not all children were like them. That there were children around the world who were not poor, the sick, the marginalized, that there were TV channels dedicated to them, they had new toys for every occasion and whim, who slept in a cool summer and warm in winter , who had lunch, dinner, snacks in the middle morning and mid afternoon as all the rubbish, with just a whimper, they could get.
He told them of his life in a distant place, where he still had to struggle with their own illness, but had made it: he had friends, a job, a house and was happy.
So it was possible.
This he said to the children that she was happy.
But it was not. Strange, since he lived in a country where you can go to school even if you're sick, where drugs and living conditions guarantee a future to people living with HIV, where HIV is no longer 'the virus that kills all'.
course, paradoxically, had just lost a son to that virus. But he was still there. And had been ill for many, many years. Was not the demonstration that, despite some exceptions, a life is possible?
In addition Daphne was always very pragmatic, if you live you live, otherwise you're dead even if tripping still on earth.
Ed This was the gloomy impression that Ben gave her: that of a zombie.
Yet she had seen him teach his eyes lit up, saw him plunge into the rescue of a child without fear.
What saddened thinking about the top friend now began to give her nerves. That Ben looked more like a 'pose', a stubborn will to not let go of pain, to remain. He was also letting go of Michael. He was letting go of his beloved companion alive, to stay buried with the dead child.
She narrowed her eyes fixed on her," What does this mean? "churches threatening.
Ben embarrassed smile: "I appreciate your efforts to keep me company and give me comfort but really I do not need, but thank you to be close to me. "
The girl's eyes grew hard, icy:" Me? Give comfort? To you? "Shook his head -" I believe that here there are at least a hundred people to whom I give comfort before you, Ben! "Judgments without asking any hard questions as to whether it was appropriate or not -" We are friends and colleagues in this mission and I thought he was civil and human chat in a while. But if it bothers you and if you think it's here to be your nurse or you put her forehead on his shoulder and cry, Well, we did not hear! "
Ben looked at her in amazement, unable to find the words to respond.
Daphne turned and was about to leave.
"Wait!" The man stopped her and she turned around.
The man shook his head: "I'm sorry Daphne, I did not want to offend you or seem paternalistic, but ..."
"Ma?" I urged her.
Ben shrugged, "I am obviously the problem, not you ..."
The girl put her arms to cross the chest and gaze poses as angry.
"It's hard to explain," the man continued - "You know, the other night? When I saved the girl? I do not ... I did not hear anything. " He shook his head in disbelief: "You can not know how I am, no one can really know ..."
She narrowed her eyes and I remember a panther ready to attack. "No one can know how you are" asked to confirm what he had told his friend to hang, but without really waiting for a response - and who cares about 'how are you' Ben? Who do you think you are to think that everyone is anxious to know how are YOU? "
Ben stared at her speechless before bursting into a laugh incredulously: "I do not know," he said - "I do not think I'm anybody, because I do not even know who I am ... "
" I know, however, "she ruled harshly.
"Really? We hear "the challenge Ben for the first time since it was from that damn doctor felt emotion of anger even if slight.
"You're just a selfish Ben. Are you a person who thinks only of himself, "Daphne slid a quick glance from head to foot of his friend -" not even do that too well! "
said that he did not wait even a hint of a reply from Ben. He turned and disappeared beyond the threshold of leaving property to secure the door wide open in disbelief.
(Sil note: the piece is shown in italics from 'City of Joy' by Dominique La Pierre)
'The Importance Of Being Idle' - Oasis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz1CVQP8a2A
*****
is thin.
is very thin.
is thinner than I remembered, though this may be possible.
his head with two pillows, eyes closed. The hair just to lick her shoulders, her complexion sallow complexion that stands out despite its Hispanic skeletal hand on a patch that fixed the needle slowly drops where a drip come into those veins too much emphasis and too purple.
Justin does not prove almost anything. Do not anger, nor pity nor regret. He looks down on her daughter to see if it is not too impressed at the sight of a person who is not only 'evil' in the way she is accustomed to seeing someone sick.
The grandmother, he, Brian and Gus, in bed or on the couch with a blanket and some tissue on the side is his idea of 'sick'.
certainly not like that, those patches, the tube that goes directly in one hand and must make a terrible evil.
Scarlett look at the girl with eyes wide open as usual and this time she has to shake the hand of his father.
Justin thinks about how it was stupid!
When he was young, children in the hospital as visitors, they could not go. And it was the right thing.
shakes her head annoyed with himself and sticks out an arm to close the door.
"He's sleeping, do not disturb them," sentence Scarlett softly and nods.
They turn to close the door behind him when a faint voice incredulous pronounce his name
"Justin?"
The boy hangs on the door and without saperselo explain this stretch his back like a bow and eyes get wet. Slowly he turns, "Hello Luise ..."
Girl closes his eyes and reopen Thump, incredulous that a dream?
But the image of the boy who became his guardian angel and that she betrayed him as the most sinister of the devils in hell is there in the flesh. I think it was just because the body that covers the child is with him.
"How did you know that ...?" She asks with an expression halfway between the stunned and happy.
Justin sighs and looks down on her back before: "No matter what," he says in a voice harsher than they would have liked - "I knew you were here and thought I'd come to see you."
Luise finally smiles showing his famous row of perfect teeth white and that the illness was unable to graze.
"I do not ... I do not know what to say ..." the girl says in a whisper, and Justin does not know if it is bad or because the surprise and the embarrassment they removed the voice.
is about to answer but he sees the girl's eyes looking toward his lower legs and crumble before you open your mouth in a look of stunned amazement and mute.
followed the gaze of his friend and sees that her daughter leaned over her legs and is watching.
It feels forces not save him, the floor of the mud where he feels himself sinking.
Report on Luise eyes and sees her smile. "Who are you?"
"My daughter," replied instinctively in the bud by blocking the response of Scarlett and bringing a woman's attention upon himself.
Luise looks at him with a look so sweet that Justin finds it hard to recognize. Not one has ever seen him in the eye before.
"Mia and Brian," said harshly.
Luise nods and smiles while trying to dry a furtive tear before the little and see the remains troubled.
"You know dad too?" Innocently asks Scarlett to his father who tries to smile, "Yes, Dad also knows," replied trying in every way not to think of the voice in my head that's screaming 'Now how the fuck can you say to Brian?!'
"I do not want to go?" asks Luise that although five years have passed, perhaps because of illness, looks younger than when she was just eighteen years. It seems thinner, smaller, more immature. It looks like the big sister Scarlett.
Justin swallows a sudden awareness: Scarlett is identical to Luise. How did his mother not notice?
Or perhaps it is he who sees similarities are really just the result of associations of his brain?
"was resting," he says expelling the thoughts - "We do not want to bother, I just went to say goodbye."
Luise nods and returns the gaze of the child. "How do you name? "he asks.
"Scarlett."
Luise's eyes become moist and can no longer hold back the tears that dries quickly. Justin closed his eyes and sighs.
"It's a beautiful name," Luise can speak without the voice broke - "And you're a beautiful girl."
"Thank you, "Scarlett politely answers remain stuck to the legs of his father.
"Beautiful and very lucky, really. I know your dad and are the best parents I could have, "says Luise squeezing hard on the lips between his teeth and inhale sharply through the nose.
Scarlett finally smiles: "I know! I always tell him too! "He says proudly unleashing the light laugh and Justin's sister Luise.
Scarlett Often, when they were in Latvia all three together to play a joke, looked at them and putting her hand on his cheek and one on Justin Brian said: "You the most wonderful parents I have ever had! "as if he had another eight before.
back Justin serious and clears his throat: "Now we really need to go," he says pointing to her daughter, but the message is for Luise - "We have a lot of things to do and has to rest Luise .
The girl nods.
"Say hello to Luise."
"Hello."
"Hello Scarlett ..." she whispered with his eyes fixed on her.
"Maybe one day we come back when you're better," suggests the girl and Luise see Justin in an expression that the boy can not decipher: fear? Hope? Sadness?
"We'll see Scarlett," said Luise But watching - "I do not think, however, because ..." hangs without finding the words, damn him!
Luise smiles and looks Scarlett: "Because I do not live here, that's why we've never seen before. As soon as I get well ... " voice threatens to break, takes a breath, licked his lips and smiles again -" ... As soon as I get well, I'll go. "
Justin closed his eyes and swallowing the sticky Magone that those words have slapped him in the throat.
die. He knows and he knows her. Even if they find the liver, Luise die anyway.
And this thought, paradoxically, consoles him.
He did the right thing ...
"All right then," Scarlett closes feeling sad atmosphere that hovers in the room and then decided, as each child, to protect themselves from, the fleeing - "Hello."
"Hello Scarlett," he smiles Luise.
The baby is already out the door when Justin lays eyes on the girl. "Farewell, Justin."
Justin just nods. The emotion prevents him from talking.
"Thanks," whispered the girl, eventually giving free rein to tears.
"Please ..."
"We're going to take a gift from Dad?" Asks Scarlett now forget the meeting and just had already projected for new projects.
"Yes," smiles Justin inhaling sharply through the nose while you start the lift.
"I wonder how it will be happy!" Said the little safe and Justin nods exhale the tension.
"It will be a great night!" Sentence Scarlett anticipating the birthday of my father since that time.
"Yes," Justin says with a gloomy tone - "will be a fantastic evening ..."
'Walkaway' - Geri Halliwell
http:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=9A4L3Uuee2g
***
Brian came up the stairs of the slow plan below and watched with furrowed brow Justin running on the treadmill.
The passed by to go to the liquor cart and chuckled glancing at the gift of Justin, Scarlett and Gus leaned against the wall dividing the sleeping area.
"You're nervous or more likely, you understand that you've reached an age at which to dispose of a piece of cake is not enough to get a saw but it takes half an hour of pure race? & Rdquo ; joked pouring a glass of whiskey.
Justin followed him with her eyes, licking a drop of sweat with the tip of the tongue. The heart beating crazy for the effort, however, maintained the pace he had kept for the duration of the birthday dinner for Brian.
We were limited to celebrate with Scarlett and Gus, and Justin all through dinner, he recalled with nostalgia the days when the birthday of Comrade specially passed unnoticed.
Instead of Scarlett that there was, there was a dinner, a cake, candles, gifts and time dilated, that night in particular.
That evening when the anxiety of Justin's cause annoyance to any obstacle that would have delayed the moment when he had to face Brian. Not to mention the fear that Scarlett if they came out pretty nice with the news of the visit made to Luise in the afternoon dropping a nuclear bomb in the middle of the loft.
Justin was recommended on the small, cobbled together as an excuse that the father did not know that their friend was sick and told him he would say quietly after dinner. It was not worth ruin his birthday party.
But you know how kids are ...
Little, however, had complied with the delivery.
The boy dropped out of the car, the safety rope and the belt stopped giving him a fleeting sense of sea sickness and vertigo.
buttandoselo got out and took a towel on his face.
He had not yet opened his mouth.
Brian came over and waited for Justin to pass the cloth on the head frizionandosela, if you hang around the neck with a smile and handed him his glass of whiskey.
"Not after a race," snapped Justin and Brian looked at him curiously. He knew the boy of thirteen years now and had learned how to decode a blink faster than normal.
"What?" He asked seriously.
Justin looked down, sighing.
"At the beach one evening, I had a dream ..."
'Harder To Breathe' - Maroon5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rV8NHsmVMPE&feature=fvst
****
Ben rushes between the boards on fire. The smoke suffocates him and prevent him from sight.
But the child cried the guide: it must reach at the cost of his own life.
"Do not go!" Robert told him but Ben can not go.
may die and is doing well. But he wants to die just come out, come out of this hell. Never mind if he died he would return soon.
not want to save the creature to earn a place in heaven but it is his own life that are saving.
What is this, a hand?
Yes, it's a hand.
Ben stretches as he can, his face burns so much so that pull the skin feels as if it were hung on a hook.
But the strength of despair is the opioid more effective against pain.
grabbed my hand and with all her strength, dragging the body, heavier than he thought, to himself.
not you see, can not see it but now manages to grab his arm and with an inhuman effort, retraces the route taken back up to that room on fire.
The smoke clears, the output is near.
is finally out in the fresh air and inspiration with a triumphant smile on his face.
The urge to laugh is irresistible and Ben lets go to a liberating laughter, voracious.
He looks up and the laughter dies in the throat.
There are Daphne, Robert, and also ... how? There are also Michael and Brian? What are they doing here?
Brian looks down. For the first time in his life looks down.
Robert looks at him with a contrite expression.
Daphne and Michael cry.
Ben smiles, shaking his head and going to his companion: "Why are you crying Michael?" Asks amazed and eager to wipe her tears - "I've done it!"
Michael looks at him incredulously, before letting slip a pitiful sight at the foot of Ben.
Man following the gaze of the partner and he sees it.
Hunter is lying on the ground.
It was useless.
not saved him.
Hunter is dead.
His own scream woke the echoes in my ears. The first light of the bungalow had already opened, bringing with them the damp smell of the usual rain.
inspires Ben in and out as if it were really just left the house on fire.
He can only hope that no one has heard the scream and rushed to him.
Face Hunter comeback to life without his knowledge.
An old pain, disruptive, never really felt the first tears in the stomach trying all ways to make their way towards the throat, even beyond sleep and get rid of the twin in a scream that wanted to see.
Ben stops breathing trying to keep him still, once again fearing that that pain, rid, overwhelm him by sending him to pieces.
But his chest explodes.
'Do not breathe Well, do not breathe' is repeated mentally with closed eyes.
Hunter's face threatens to not let it go again.
The insanity will lead to breaking the banks of rationality.
not just the survival instinct makes him open his mouth for air a hoarse cry first then more disruptive makes its way between the vocal cords live their own lives.
The roar url detained for months, broke the balance of the monotonous sound of the rain and reassuring.
a heartrending cry, what a pain that the psyche can not stand, the armor crumbles and makes its way between the pieces of his heart and his brains scattered everywhere after the explosion.
But just when he thinks he will die for that pain so excruciating, it feels like you've never heard before.
The pus flows out of the wound by eating the meat in a stab of pain irrepressible.
But a moment later, the wound does not hurt anymore.
Meat resumes its normal color, abnormal swelling is now a simple dip.
The gangrene is averted because all that remained sealed between the first rotten meat is now released.
Released in a cry of resignation that, paradoxically, will now take healing.
'Scar Tissue' - Red Hot Chili Peppers
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