Brian greeted Monica thanked him and closed the apartment door behind careful not to make too much noise as they were already two in the morning.
Dinner, including the invitation, he had dwelt more than usual, very good sign for Justin. Throughout the evening he was busy talking with the three art critics, directors of the four journals, Paula and her assistant and two other characters that Brian had not clearly identified but that to be guests of the inner circle of invited, should be equally large pieces.
For its part, the man had done what one would expect that Comrade 'the prom queen' to do. He in turn exchanged cordial conversation, discussed with making erudite and intelligent on various issues, exposed all its charm and elegance but without overwhelming Justin. Never.
He had been a step backward, just as Debbie had predicted he would.
It was not the star that night. It was a pleasant fellow, intelligent and cultured of the star.
meeting with Evan was almost forgotten had it not been for that business card resting on the chest from time to time reminded him of the sense of anger that this man, after twenty years, yet failed to let him try.
The same anger twenty years earlier.
Only once, during dinner, he had stopped to fix the wine poured into glasses of fine crystal, allowing himself to think about what he had said Evan: 'They asked me to take an AD I liking and thought of you '.
That would not only think of him if he had also called? What kind of life would have lived today?
had swallowed thinking for the third time in a few months at a parallel life that he could live the life that a boy would make false papers in order to live, the life she thought to herself before Justin before Scarlett.
Evan had not disturbed. What troubled him was to discover that in a puzzle that he thought he was perfect, he felt that a piece was stuck in the right way. And this gave him a thick new stomach; was passed in the blink of an eye. But there was.
He took off his jacket, removed his tie and went to the fridge to drink. Justin joined him, took the bottle from his hands, drank, walked past it to him and walked to the couch taking off his shirt over his head without even leaving her unbuttoned and wherever.
Brian followed him with her eyes swallowing water in big gulps and saw him sitting on the couch, slip off your shoes and throw them on the soft carpet to do with pissed grabbing jeans and a shirt that had left the morning.
He cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows, then joined him. "This is the effect that makes you earn thirty-five thousand U.S. dollars in one evening with two paintings," he asked with a sweet smile.
Justin lifted a grim look on him: "No, is the effect that makes me gain twenty thousand for a painting that I would gladly split the head of that Evan. Evan never again see that for sure because I have not any intention of going to his house to do the painting. "
Brian looked down and nodded aware. Everything as expected: Evan launched the love and Justin was hooked. In the end he was not even that surprised. Evan and Justin knew he knew.
"You know how it works Sunshine, when customers pay for your own work, likes and dislikes that are ..."
"Do not treat me like an idiot Brian" on the rebound guy standing up and staring straight at me - "You know why I would have smashed on the head!" ruled before heading to the liquor cart. Brian stood staring at the sofa, sighing.
"No, I do not know," she whispered. He knew perfectly well but was not sure he wants to address that topic.
"Now I'll explain it," he heard the voice of Justin scratching behind his back - "That man has spent twenty thousand U.S. dollars for my part, not because he liked it, did not understand a damn what is in that picture, and he has not spent even to have a piece in my house since it already has one. The man has spent twenty thousand U.S. dollars in a single framework for ... "he paused, shaking his head and trying to appease the anger that kept him from finding the right words.
"Just to get the reaction that is objectively getting?" Brian asked, turning to look hard mate.
Justin stared at him in silence for a moment. "Exactly," he concluded with making gloomy.
Brian laughed, "Come on Justin," attempted to play down - "is one who likes to play with people since this is his reason for living, the only thing that going. Do not be selfish love him remove this too. Not the devil, "he concluded with specially indifferent smile.
"No Brian, not the devil. I know that. So, tell me who you know: Who is Evan Steel? "
Brian inspired by grasping the meaning in every detail of the application for Justin. He shrugged: "My first former head of the agency where I worked."
"Only this," Justin asked in rhetorical form so as not to give even a questioning tone to the question.
"What else should it be?"
Justin felt a blind rage salirgli the breast: more Brian minimized, the more that he had received and decoded during the evening was strengthened in his mind.
"We've never been to bed
Brian burst into merry laughter and genuine:" Sunshine, you know that I was in bed with 100% of my colleagues gay and a good 60% than straight. Your jealousy is becoming pathological if you do ruin an evening like this from one of my one thousand ex-fucking! "
Justin at that time would have beaten really beaten. He was doing clever as he did years before, many years ago. So he went back and looked at a fire in the eyes of the mate who supported him. "I request you Brian," she whispered sharp - "Who is Evan Steel?"
Brian paused several times from the eyelids, then sighed: "It is a person who helped me a lot in his career and the world in which I found myself," confessed knowing I can do without. Justin deserved it, was to him and most importantly, continue to keep silent would mean giving undue importance to something that Brian had no importance. Not anymore.
The boy sighed and continued to secure the mate waiting for the rest.
"He taught me so much at work, I started to like beautiful things in style. We went together to shops and antique markets the discovery of ... "
" was having an affair, "Tetra Justin arriving at the most obvious conclusions.
"No," calmly denied Brian.
Justin glanced quickly to the bedroom, where Gus and Scarlett slept, making sure that the door was closed and then turned again to his companion.
"went to flea markets and stalls together and did not have a relationship? Really I believe such an idiot? " 's angry spat in my face, wanting to take a slap that became more aggressive.
"There was a report from Justin. Fuck, we spent time together but it was not a realazione. "
Justin chuckled a little laugh that Brian knew to be like her:" It was a non-relationship? A non-relationship as one that was between me and you at the beginning? "
Demand Brian caught unprepared, perhaps for the first time in his life.
was not a report such as that there had been between them at the beginning? He had never thought that because he had closed the door behind Evan to never see him again, he had not even thought about.
But now Justin's flat-spotted the comparison under the nose and Brian could not ignore the voice in his head telling him: 'Yes'.
inhaled and cleared his throat and Justin felt at that moment the floor be soft under his feet.
resistors Brian took over and made him shake his shoulders and a face to face roleplaying enough: "You can not really be jealous of a person I met when you were, how much? Ten years? "He chuckled -" You know, there was a life before you, Justin, had not been created by magic powder of Liberty Avenue in the exact moment when you've turned the corner. & Rdquo ;
"A life based on 'I do not believe in love in sex!' I know, "argued the boy.
Brian opened his mouth really surprised: "I was not in love with Evan."
"No?"
Brian sighed and slumped his mouth open ; shoulders: "Do you really think that was in love with him?"
"I do not know, you tell me. You paved the way man you are, no? Tell me, he was led to believe in sex rather than love? Why did you betray your love? "
Brian was afraid for a moment of not being able to understand their own language: he was saying Justin?
"I have betrayed no love. I believe, indeed, I believed in sex and not love because I was sure that love does not exist. And I always believed in love before you. "
was true. He knew What had felt for Evan. It was not a simple addition to fuck, no. Brian and I remember this. But it was not in love with him. He wanted to be like him, idolized him, the attention of the man he so admired filled him with pride, and yes, perhaps he had been involved emotionally. But he was a boy who was facing life, he was young, experienced in sex but not in feelings. Exchanging an admiration for 'love' was there. Was not the same also happened to Justin himself?
"proves nothing for him then," asked Justin to give him no respite.
Brian snorted and tried to interrupt that conversation was going to shower his blessing. But he knew who had passed the years of the shower and could not have come back.
"I liked being with him if you really want to hear that. Order to continue and I believe there is no need to stress that I was the one who took it. We will shock you too? "Evil attacking churches to defend themselves.
Justin merely tighten the eyes and secure it with an air of imperturbable stone.
Brian nodded and went to turn the trolley Spirits: "We fucked together two months, we spent time together without purpose, then one day he went away to New York and I did not think more. Not until tonight at least, "estimated disheartened by the immense casino that was being created at all.
Justin nodded sadly and aware. "You know," began with a soft voice suddenly quiet, almost melancholic - "When you were about to leave for New York and I began to whimper like a child, I always wondered because instead of telling me that I was pathetic and to stop the act from frocietto, you've come to hug me and comfort me ... "
Brian blur the look of the amber liquid in the whiskey.
"Now I know," Justin continued in a whisper - "What happened to you too. You did because you knew exactly what I was feeling. "
Brian raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly and turned to look back in Justin standing in the middle of the room. Hands to massage his back in the embrace that he was giving himself.
"Yes," he finally admitted - "It's true. I knew exactly what he was feeling. Because at that time I asked myself the same question that you ponesti to me, "Brian said in a whisper, coming up to Justin. "What do I do now?"
Justin swallowed and Brian saw in his eyes a pain that would not have been there but that he was giving himself, unable to get understand. He wanted to avoid that discussion, but now he felt the need to deal with physical and emotional way down because Justin did not deserve the pain of misinterpretation.
"I told you," he went on taking his hands in his companion, contact Justin did not deny - "you'll find someone of your age, you'll love me and forget as I forget you. And that is exactly what has happened to me with Evan. This is exactly what che sarebbe successo a te se io me ne fossi andato.”
Justin negò con il semplice movimento del capo.
Brian sorrise e gli carezzò una guancia. “Sì invece e lo sai bene. Può non rientrare nei parametri della vita secondo Barbara Cartland,” scherzò leggero riferendosi alla più famosa scrittrice di romanzi rosa – “ma rientra nei parametri della vita vera, Justin. Tu sai cos’è l’amore perché lo vivi tutti i giorni,” sussurrò currents of emotions and feelings without restraint because they needed them both. Justin, but he too. "And as you know, you can not give the same name that I felt for Evan, or that you feel for me at that time."
Justin looked down and sighed quieter but Brian forced him to call in his eyes even placing his other hand on the cheek and gently lift the boy's face: "You yourself, you said - I loved the first hero, now the man I love - but love a hero is not Love Justin, is idolatry. Evan idolized? Maybe, "Brian gave him without fear, a pride that gave rise to an admiring gaze in companion -" but I loved and love one person in the world. It's you. "
Justin's eyes became liquid and bright thanks to the tears that they had drowned in those words. Brian smiled and leaned over to kiss both eyelids.
"And if he had been" asked Justin.
Brian sighed, watching him with fresh eyes, of: "If Ethan had not betrayed you?" Justin smiled and nodded a deep understanding at last.
Daphne had also written him a few months before: 'Things are exactly how they should go because it went. No other way was possible. The rest is just mental saws'.
"If I never talked to him," Brian continued, almost in a whisper - "is because I have not even thought about him a while since I saw the last time. This shows, in fact, that even if I had, by chance, a confused my feelings with a kind of love ... Well, it was not. And that makes me calm and peaceful. "
Justin smiled:" It makes me calm and serene even. "
Brian nodded, smiling, and bent to kiss him.
"You think I have commissioned the work he knew who I was," he asked without fear, but bringing the conversation about the practical and conversational. Brian shook his head: "No, I was genuinely surprised when he saw that we were together. I think it was really a case. "
Justin nodded," So they went on stage tonight, "he asked still confused.
Brian shrugged his shoulders to do more: "What they need to support the character that is built around. He had to prove to himself that he can come and go whenever he wants, especially as he wants and who it wants. "
"And he wants you," Justin whispered.
"No," decided to deny Brian - "He wants to prove to himself that he can recover in the blink of an eye. He does not want me as Brian, wants to prove to himself that his theories are right, that my choices are wrong and that you ... "he paused and reached out to pull out a white card from his jacket pocket - "... a calling card for to shake the stability of a couple. "
Justin looked with amazement the ticket and he felt upon himself the watchful eye of Brian. He was the first to be surprised not to feel any jealousy, anger or annoyance to that call which was made clear to her man by his 'ex' - whatever that meant.
We had arrived. He finally reached the point in the relationship with Brian has always tried to find without really ever. And there he found his companion to wait.
"And is because of this, "Brian continued -" that tomorrow we will go shopping happily disgraced your twenty thousand U.S. dollars and you'll stay here to continue the painting on his wall. "
Justin took off his ticket from the fingers of Brian and rested on the table then looked at his companion and smiled kissing clever fellow, and his lips muttering something about "Tell me again ..."
"What," asked Brian, grinning in amazement.
"What you said before."
"What did I say before?"
"How much do you love me."
Brian laughed lying on the couch and accepting mate above him: "I did not say how much I love you. I told you I know love because you live it every day. So in fact I told you how much you love me, "he said with a sly smile.
Justin became serious: "Thanks."
"What?" Brian whispered.
"Di said again how much I love me."
"But I told you ..."
Justin stared at him and Brian was silent, then a smile aware opened on his face. He put a hand on the nape of the companion and gently drew her to kiss him.
Backstreet Boys - 'As Long As You Love Me'
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