Dhmo And The Government

QAF Season 8-Episode 11 - Third time

Justin felt deprived of any energy, as he had run for months without stopping ever. And maybe that was it. Had run for thirteen years with Brian, and now no longer had the strength to continue.

considerations Laureen outputs were demoralizing. A conclusion that was reached?

Brian was not angry.

was tired and discouraged.

And he probably was because the mate, probably always saw that what was sent 'no confidence' against him.

It was not what he felt, but if he had to describe in words why Brian had kept in the dark of the story Luise, when she became pregnant, would not have been able to explain it exactly.

If only he could draw it would be able to express. It was not lack of confidence, not even knowing that Brian did not approve. It was a sort of 'quiet life'. Absurd, because certain things would be out. Perhaps not really wanted to be valid and rational arguments to oppose that could dissuade him from his mission.

even he did not know exactly, and only now they made it absolutely aware.

He thought of the discomfort that the words of Brian had caused during the holidays, when asked if he could do all the work he had undertaken to do. And he likened the current situation and all the times he had concealed something. Nothing could stand in his way: that was the truth.

always since a kid, he felt a deep sense of discomfort under the skin to any opposition, or even rational calm, which was exposed.

had been so with his parents, the same happened to Brian.

But there was no confidence or awareness of not being understood. Brian knew that he loved him and knew that even without understanding would never prevented from doing anything.

was his 'ego self' that limited. Too independent, too self-centered, in fact.

sighed to a mental reasoning that Laureen had stopped on purpose. He could almost hear the gears of the young brain smashing.

"So I have to regain his confidence," she said to her, but not as a question. He also knew it was so alone.

She just nodded slowly.

"How," asked the boy, but without the urgency that flowed from Michael but when posed the same question. Laureen thought that Brian, the great and legendary Brian, had his beautiful fish to fry with that boy.

sighed closing his shoulders: "Paradoxically regain his confidence and show only your own."

Justin parted his mouth to speak but she interrupted him with a raised hand: "Do not ask 'how'. The how do you know you and not me. And if you know you will find a way to find out. Are you smart enough and determined. "

Justin looked down and nodded.

"And Scarlett?" He asked with a look that leaned back in fear. As any parent could face anything about himself, but the turns were fertile field of fear when it came to the child.

"For Scarlett thing," asked the woman pretending to be more naive than it was.

"His future, what will happen, what should we tell her? Those pictures will show them to him or not? "

Laureen raised his eyebrows in an expression deliberately indifferent," How often I find myself saying, and just about anyone, I am a psychiatrist, not a soothsayer. I do not foresee the future. "

Justin huffed a sigh impatiently he did bend Laureen's lips in a conscious smile. He was perfectly framed in spite of the character was not a soothsayer.

"You're a psychiatrist, however," opposed Justin - "more than I can predict that, even excuse, to assess what they will face Scarlett."

"Why, you and Brian you have not ever considered," he asked malignant.

"Of course we did!"

"Ah here, thank goodness!"

"I speak to about this situation ..."

"Ahhh Justin," he allowed himself to become impatient to play with her leaning back in his leather chair - "this situation is not anything you want to put him in the head? Has not suffered any trauma, no! As for the future of Scarlett, I can not predict it because the lives of human beings is not a mathematical formula. I doubt the questions, anxieties or searches Scarlett absolutely depend on factors not assessed at the time. Will depend on his character, his curiosity, the relationship you have with you. It is said that a child adopted only because, living forever in search of answers. These, again, is a concern for parents, children almost never. You know that only 16% of children adopted initiate procedures to search for biological parents? Yet the law allows them to access any store at the age of twenty-one. "

Justin closed his shoulders:" You officially has nothing on file, is the daughter of unknown. "

" Even better, "Laureen ruled pragmatic. Justin paused and took a thumb to the lips to extract a troublesome skins.

"The autocannibalismo does not help," she retorted Laureen.

Justin looked at her surprised and she pointed with her chin on her thumb.

"I am removing a strip of skin."

"Then spit or swallow?"

Justin let out a chuckle: "This change anything?"

"I do not know how. "

" I think the deglutirò, "Justin said with a tone as the patient had to be crazy in front of a favor.

"So you're not rid of an annoying skins, you're biting yourself to download the anxiety."

Justin turned his eyes to the window and sighed, "Whatever."

"Scarlett On the way, what I can do is give you some advice," continued Dr. regaining the attention of the boy. "Answer all your questions, all. But do not tell her anything more than what you asked. Not that I want to know, you who think she wants it. If you do not want to know why you will not be hiding some disturbance, but because objectively not be interested. So do not be to inflict on you and tell stories that are not meant to be made a sharer. Explain how things went but only to the extent that she wants to know them. Always remember to Scarlett that his parents are you and Brian. And nothing will ever change that. Yours is the fear of not being recognized as parents 'real'. She does not even arise doubt. So do not make the mistake that many adoptive parents, not ahead metteteglielo you doubt this. "

Justin listened carefully and almost surprised no one had ever assessed the situation from the child, although he had always thought of doing it.

"And if you ask, rispondetele sincerely. Raccontatele whole story. The curiosity will draw up and removed safely on his way. "

" And if you ask, we'll see the picture? "

" This Brian and you'll know at that time. I can not know. Do not take hours, perhaps questions about the distant future. Look in the eyes if you know your daughter and show her the photo or not. "

"And if you remember ..."

"Justin, I do not normally allow my patients to discuss with me about hot air. But since you're not a patient of mine and I understand that for you today is a day of confusion, I will tell you. But it said today that forever, "crucial ruling.

Justin nodded a promise.

"Well," continued the woman, sighing - "If will remember you say that you have not made aware of it because his mother was a great evil as he was dying. And that this was just not wanting to upset Luise. "

" Luise "asked Justin stunned.

"Luise," echoed Laureen served with a smile.

"So later became his heroine."

Laureen fixed his those in blue-green eyes of the boy clutching his eyes as if to aim straight into his brain and his heart. "Better is a happy child who thinks that his mother loves him and has sacrificed for her probably creating a myth, or a daughter upset by the inexplicable abandonment awareness, aware that the woman who bore her one day said, 'It's never been my daughter'? "

Justin looked down and Laureen returned to resting your elbows on the desk and his chin on his fists.

"You out of your head that a ghost can love more than love you or Brian. This is physiologically impossible for Justin. Nobody in the world, never, can never take the place reserved for you and Brian in his heart. None. "

Justin rubbed his forehead, gulped and sighed. Then she nodded: "Ok."

"Ok," he asked softly Laureen to confirmation.

Justin more convinced nodded and reassured.

"And do not worry about the catastrophic scenario that you have revealed Brian," he added, "You know better than me that Luis did not confess to her mother and even if it did would not give name , name and address, however, the so-called 'grandparents' have no legal power over Scarlett and last but not least, I know Susan. "

Justin looked at her sadly and shook his head as Laureen to take note of something that was inexplicable to them but in reality existed: "There was a daughter of the workers, let alone a grandchild born by someone. How do you explain to his audience to be a 'not' nonnna of a child born addicted to drugs by her daughter? How would you explain the fact that she herself, the psychiatrist who dispenses wise consultations and television could not have a grandson abandoned at birth by his daughter? that psychiatrists are you?! will ask all the foundations upon which his life and that of her husband began to creak. He has already sacrificed a child to cement them, imagine if you put them at risk for a nephew whom he knows nothing and of which even less interested. "

Justin nodded again and sighed a sigh of the most liberating.

"You are quieter now," asked the woman to make more affectionate than you would expect from a psychiatrist.

"Yes, really."

"You see," she agreed.

"Ok, I've stolen too much time, how much do I owe you to ... "

" Justin, please, "the woman to stop the upset -" I do not propose polite banalities. It is not your style. "

The boy smiled," Thank you accept it? "

" What ever "confirmed the woman looked after him, Justin rise.

"You have nothing else to ask?"

Justin looked surprised to find what he expected would ask. At the end of the chapter: "What should I ask?"

Laureen clung indifferent shrug: "I do not know ... as you know I go out to dinner tonight with Brian and Shawn, and saw the disaster that is said by I caused all the other time to give it for granted that Ben knew that Michael was here, you may want to ask me not to say anything to Brian ... "

Justin raised his eyebrows and frankly amazed Laureen was enough to have that real surprise.

"But I say to Brian that I was here!"

"We'll say it now would you tell them how many times you've sneezed during the trip?"

"No, I tell him why I would say whatever. Honestly I do not see a single reason not to tell him. "

The woman nodded," So, instead of reflecting on delusional fears, try to focus on the concrete. If you say everything, because he shut up a few things so important? "

The boy looked down:" I have asked during our chat, and even on vacation to tell the truth ... And I have not found a convincing answer. "

" Find them! "she ordered peremptorily.

"I will!" Guaranteed Justin finally giving it the smile that she now knew, had earned the nickname 'Sunshine'.

'Sunshine' - Patrice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2d9YHwIA5c

****

Scarlett made his entrance on the top floor with his arms along the body, hanging from small hand held Gus the bear by the ear, made unsteady gait and the coils of the slow sleep not yet driven out of everything, shaggy hair in front of the face.

Brian looked at her and laughed heartily: "Then I ask why the name is Samara! I am surprised that it is not checked the stairs and exit from the TV, "notes that picking up and unleashing the merry laughter of Gus.

"What are you laughing you do not know what I mean?" Asked the son. "Good morning sweetness, His Majesty wants breakfast?" He asked pointing to her daughter had put his face on his shoulder.

"No," she muttered.

"More fool me I keep asking," notes Brian placing his daughter on the stool beside his brother.

"But I know what you mean, I've seen!" Gus ruled with a sly smile that Brian remembered his own.

"What?"

"The ring. "

Brian raised his eyebrows surprise:" Have you seen 'The Ring', Gus? "

The boy nodded and Brian took a sly ironic pose intransigent with her hands on her hips: "No one ever told you that you do not watch R-rated movies?"

"Yes!" chuckled the boy.

"So you've watched in secret," he asked the father to hold back a giggle pleased.

"Yes!" Gus nodded again.

The dialogue attracted the attention of Scarlett looked worried that the brother first, then the father, convinced that Gus would soon earned a severe reprimand.

Brian stared at his son with serious do: "You know, Gus ..."

Scarlett opened her mouth waiting.

"... You're my son!" Brian laughed, ruffling his hair and causing the explosion of laughter of the two twin children.

"Come on, drink at least a bit 'of milk both Lindsay and Justin otherwise then I make two balls like that!" Brian asked by pouring two cups of hot milk and white children. Which, while an alliance with his father, began to drink it without resistance.

"But Dad, that movie is not scary at all and then so old! "Gus ruled with white milk mustaches.

"Old" asked Brian leaning his elbows on the counter in front of them.

"Yes, I still use that thing that I do not even remember what it's called ... the most videoqualcosa ..."

"Video, Gus," Brian informed him .

"What?" asked the small and Gus chuckled, turning to his sister: "Once there was a bluray movie and you could see something in the size of a shoebox with all wrapped in a film."

& ldquo , Really? "he asked surprised Scarlett and Brian chuckled, shaking his head.

"Yes, yes, really!" Confirmed his brother.

"Where is that once there was not even the iPod," informed them the father.

The children looked at him as he was talking about a science fiction movie.

"And like listening to music?" Gus asked incredulously.

Brian shrugged: "With the radio or the Walkman."

"Which," asked Scarlett.

"Forget it ..." Brian chuckled surrendered.

"What else was not there," he asked concerned and Gus Brian bent his mouth to think.

"Internet."

"Oh," was the astonished expression of Scarlett.

"And, listen, listen ..." with Brian communicated to leaned conspiratorially toward them and attracting all their curious attention - "... there was not even the phone!"

The term twin children, eyes wide, mouths open, then detonated in a serene Brian laugh. He rose to hold the cups in the sink.

"But at least there was electricity in your day, or even that pa?"

Brian laughed heartily, thinking that his son had made a joke.

The smile fell from her face when, turning, saw a serious expression of his son that he was not joking at all.

"It's late. Go and wash and dress, both of them. Now, "ordered mandatory trying to drive out the hassle of thought to what his sons think - and certainly saw - old.

***

Mel looked around astonished and make ironic: "Do you smoke outside instead of at home despite being asked all times not to do it, "he asked to nobody in particular and all the people turned the window to see Brian, standing in the garden, smoking a cigarette.

"Shhh!" Tow do with Lindsay conspirator - "yesterday made 42 years old do not let us make him see that we realized,"

Melanie, Debbie and Carl laughed, Justin sighed and rose from the table to get a quizzical look followed by Michael and worried that Gus and reached the companion who had her back side by side without speak.

Brian inhaled two puffs before handing over the cigarette to Justin.

"This morning I was from Laureen," Justin informed him staring at the same indefinite point staring at the partner.

Brian nodded without speaking.

"What you said last night ..." he began feeling cold despite the boy was 30 August - "... So I wanted to have an opinion, she felt like it was better to handle it with Scarlett ... and The Silence of Brian's when he closed his eyes to catch his breath:" He gave me advice and calmed in somehow. If you want to tell you I said ... "

Brian finally looked at him but did not speak.

"Or as you see it tonight, maybe you do you say to her," the boy tried in front of the glacial mate.

"No, I will tell you," ruled Brian taking a cigarette, giving her last breath and throwing it into the street.

"Even Justin smokes out?" Said Lindsay had fun.

"I'm going to make sure that they are really not there and have replaced them during the night," Mel chuckled, getting up from the table.

"Mamy, forget it!" Gus tow with a tone so serious that the astonished gaze of all rested on the child.

Gus's eyes were so determined that no one really understood, everyone knew it was the case of really letting go. The woman taken place at the table without another word.

Brian turned to look at the window of the house: "But you tell me when we are sure of being alone, we have already made a spectacle of ourselves tonight without the need for come Scarlett or to hear Gus talk. Gus has heard it all tonight, "informed him no accusatory tone in his voice.

was Justin's fault because of Brian. None of them had raised the issue that the children could hear their angry discussion.

Justin gave a slight 'oh' surprised: "I'm sorry. Did you talk? "

Brian nodded.

"What did he say?"

The man shrugged his shoulders: "What that says a child of twelve years who finally falls in the real world of adults. And it is also very pleased, it finally feels great, "he chuckled -" how many illusions ... "notes that without explaining in detail the claim.

They stood in silence in a mirror position: standing straight, his back to the front door, his hands tucked casually in jeans twins. Same brand, same model, same color. But clothes were not together.

Brian lit a new cigarette and after a few shots, once again went to his companion.

Justin swallowed heavy: "Do you remember?" He asked without waiting for an answer - "many years ago, here in this same garden. It was me and you to smoke outside. With regard to my school alliance, you told me to never think to have won because when I had thought I would die '

Brian breathed his eyes narrowed.

"I told you," Justin went on talking with the calm voice of memory, such as not speaking with him, but really was remembering only for himself - "I felt protected because you were there."

Brian he remembered all too well. That night he wanted to tell him that he could not protect him from anything, but they were still the days when wearing the mask of 'Rage' with pride on his face.

inhaled through the nose and nodded to confirm that he remembered but once again did not speak and do not look at him.

Justin nodded. "That's how I feel," he said in a whisper. "That's how I feel at this very moment, despite everything, despite perhaps even today has the right to feel this way."

Brian looked down.

"This is what I feel for you, Brian," Justin said without looking but firm voice and deep tone - "This is what I've always felt for you ..." The excitement pushed him in the chest and threatened to disrupt the voice but was determined to go all the way - "but not as you might think. Not like a kid with his dad, but how ... "He sighed, looking for words that would explain what was fundamentally inexplicable with rationality" ... As something that makes me feel so peaceful, tranquil. The fullness that I live with you is ... "God, so far as hard! "... The knowledge of having you, you in my life there or anywhere in the world, makes me feel like I can face all the trouble and worries without fear, with strength, with the power given by feel satisfied . It is a fullness that ... do not know how to describe. If you could draw I would. I would do to make you understand what I feel for you Brian and I could not ever show up at the bottom. "

stopped because there was not much to say and why the tears misted gaze.

'Love Song' - Max Pezzali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvSYqanq8Ts

Brian felt a wave of heat to warm the chest and had to clear his throat and swallow.

"You always think that there is no need for words to explain. But it is not, "she finally said after a silence that Justin did not seem to ever be finished.

The boy got a glimpse of him looked at him: "I know that you can not describe what you feel. How can not I or anyone else. But sometimes there is no need to do it, just feel it and let others hear it. "

Justin nodded. "And do you feel?" Timid voice asked.

Brian raised his eyebrows and looked away, sighing. Justin blinked several times and the inside of a bit her lip so hard she could feel the taste of blood.

"You think that everything must be understood to be accepted," Brian continued, before snorting a laugh, shaking his head - "if you think about which is contrary to the way you be more emotional than rational. "

Justin felt the now consumed cigarette burn your fingertips and let fall on the grass.

"But it is not Justin," Brian informed him coming back at him - "maybe I understand your paintings?"

Justin did not answer.

"No. Why not have the technical and artistic to be able to judge from a standpoint of style, the chromaticity. I'm not an art critic and I do not understand what you paint. But this does not mean that gasp every time I see one. It does not mean that what they send me is so beautiful that every time I remain speechless staring at them hypnotized. Because while not understanding anything about the meaning of those lines, signature metallic detailing, the bands that cross the picture, I feel that your being projected onto the canvas. It fascinates me that your being. "

Justin looked at him with eyes that fogs: Brian knew the words to find their difference. Always.

The man shrugged his shoulders: "There is need to understand love, "and sentenced Justin wiped the tears that suddenly was no longer able to hold back.

Brian Justin smiled and shook his head and looked away and leaned back in front of the house without seeing it really. "You're right," he merely said, and he was convinced. Now I had finally understood. Brian did not 'including' certain things because they have not lived in the same way, but that did not mean that, as important to him, he would comply, and maybe who knows, appreciated.

There was no reason to cut it out. Now I knew and wanted to tell him. But perhaps it was too late. And of course Brian had just said there was always need to say anything. The important thing was making him feel. How many years have tried to make him understand this?

There were cakes for birthdays, flowers for Valentine's Day or breakfast in bed and showed love. It was the love even without understanding.

sighed: "I would ask you to come with me to accompany Scarlett Britin, then get back together at the loft, cancel your commitment tonight, and just be you and me until today ... "

Brian looked down and sighed.

"But I would do it just to appease the anxiety of being in this situation with you, I create. We would end up having sex and pretending to have forgotten and passed. I feel better and get back to sleep at night. Again. "

Brian and Justin looked at him without speaking scratched behind his ear as he always did when he was in difficulties. "But no. Not this time. I'm going to Britin as decided, without you. And if you do not sleep tonight, never mind. "

" Yes, "confirmed Brian for the tip of the boy's disappointment -" let's take a mini break for reflection, " ruled with a slight smile on his face.

Justin what he thought he swallowed a bowling ball: "I usually pauses for thought are the prelude to leave ... "he muttered -" no one reflects, only postpones the moment when we leave ... "

Brian snorted, raising his eyes to heaven and Justin looked at him in amazement.

"Usually" - Brian repeated, enunciating the words of Justin - "I want to tell us that for us there is usually a . Why do you always fall in pre-patterns? That's what I mean when I tell you that we are not even a pair of straight and lesbian, when I told you I did not want to conform to the concept of marriage and family mixed "

Justin inspired by the nose to do but watch and shaking Brian took his face in his hands to do more protective of what had happened the night before, though with the same force: "We are not the others. We are Brian and Justin. "

" We're still? "Could not not ask for Justin. He had vowed not to go in search of reassurance but the words of the mate could not not ask for one.

"I have always been Justin," Brian said in a whisper, with eyes firmly planted in those of the companion - "this is but you still did not understand," he concluded with leaving a bitter aftertaste slipped his hands from behind her companion's face and then away from him.

Justin did not answer, did not move, just looked at him for a moment that seemed to last an eternity.

Finally Brian shook and nodded: "Come on, take Scarlett and go. See you Tuesday at the office, "he concluded, turning around and heading back towards the entrance of the home of Mel and Linds.

"Can I take a picture on Tuesday?" Appealed by the boy on the block Brian threshold.

"I want to give a picture?" He asked in amazement.

"No, I just want to let you see and talk before you throw it in the garbage."

"Why throw it," asked the man without really understand anything.

"Why not make sense."

Brian nodded with raised eyebrows: "Then why do you want to see it and want to talk about this?"

Justin sighed, "Why the way you had until yesterday, in my head. It is part of a fairly recent past to tell the truth. But it passed. A past but I would like you to see ... "

Brian sighed through the nose and pursed his lips in the mouth.

"Ok," granted before crossing the threshold and return to meet them.

'I Need Words' - Ron

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hvpN9__QgM

****

"from the puppies, let's go!" Urged Justin once back at home.

Scarlett turned to his father with an air of disappointment: "We are playing Noooooo!"

"We have to go by her grandmother, come on."

" Ugh!

"Move on," urged the Brian eager to finally go home and jump on the bed where he spent the whole afternoon. He had not slept during the night and nothing was tired, I just want to close my eyes and sleep all afternoon until Shawn and Lauren would arrive at the loft, equipped with Japanese dinner. He put us home, wine and drugs.

Justin got a look at Gus, his chin resting on his hands flat on the table: "Do you want to come too Gus?"

gaze of the child lit up. The idea of spending a weekend at Britin, practically everything in the pool the day was certainly more attractive than the hot and lazy weekends spent at home.

looked at the father shrugged: "Do not ask me," said Brian.

Justin slid a look at Jenny and found to comply with the brother with melancholy: "And you too Jenny, if you want," he added.

The girl did not need to repeat twice, and both brothers Kinney / Novotny rushed to the siege of the mothers: "Come on, please please please!" Was the chant shouted and pressing.

"No," agreed Lindsay ruled - "Do not even talk about it!"

"But by mamy," Jenny pleaded supported by Scarlett who adored Britin to spend time with Jenny because the play was more than they did Gus.

"No," echoed Mel - "Jennifer does not know anything and we can not expect to spend a weekend deal for three children instead of one. "

" I'll deal with, "Justin ruled safe.

Gus burst out laughing: "Ok, I understand, I have to do if you think about the babysitter you. You do not even remember to eat when you paint! "

The sentence was that no malicious or mocking tone. It was a simple fact found by a child. So obvious that even in his eyes was obvious.

But he had the power to slide the eye of Brian to his companion observed that for a moment, he found himself crowded out.

"That's exactly, Justin has to work for Casey, it can not exactly, 'said Lindsay.

"Ugh!" Complained with eyes clouded by frustration Jenny.

"No, seriously Linds! I'm on it! "Said Justin limit to arrogance. Brian drove his tongue in his cheek.

"There are three infants, play with each other while working then I'm responsible for dinner and put them to sleep, what's the problem?"

Lindsay sighed and looked at Mel and Michael . "For me, all right," notes Michael peaceful. Jenny's eyes moved in hoping that those of her mother raised her arms: "Ok!"

Jenny and Scarlett screamed with happiness and hugged, Gus smiled.

"Then Go and prepare your stuff for two days! "spur Justin," Tuesday morning to carry you home. "

children, including Scarlett, flew upstairs, without have it repeated two times.

"Thanks," Lindsay gave a smile that returned to Justin.

times then a look at the companion that he just fix it.

Inscrutable.

'Dead On Time' - Queen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgmsTJhjWII

Porcelain Backstamps Arrows

QAF Season 8-Episode 11 - Second Half

"It's Saturday and I had no appointment, but Shawn told me you were here and went to see if you can spend five minutes ... "

Laureen looked over the lenses of his glasses on the tip that led almost and nose in a gesture of surprise raised his eyebrows: "I assure you you're the last person I expected to come here! "

Justin looked down without moving the door from the circles that you wore as they had punched and look sad, Laureen understood that the initial idea to ask him politely to come back later, perhaps for lunch, had to be discarded.

"Sit down Justin."

The boy smiled a shy smile of thanks that, while having met only a couple of times, did not recognize: Where was all the security and swagger of that young man?

Something had happened with Brian, or Scarlett.

waited patiently Justin reached the leather seat, took off his glasses and looked at him with a serious look: "Do not offer a coffee, even though you have the look of someone who has not slept all night, because nothing makes me think that you can collapse from sleep, "notes that only gives a faint smile readmission.

"What happened?" He asked in a whisper friendly.

****

"How much sleep Scarlett" asked Gus to hang around the kitchen counter. He threw an eye on the clock noting that they were already half-past ten.

Brian chuckled while she was pouring the cereal into the milk and shrugged his shoulders: "Very, took from his father."

Gus raised his eyebrows thinking about which of the two fathers of Scarlett Brian was referring to on the high stool and sat waiting for breakfast.

"Justin is sleeping?"

"No," Brian informed him toward him with a steaming cup in his hand - "came out early this morning "he went on without knowing exactly 'what' soon. He woke up at nine after being unable to sleep when out already dawned and had found a post-it on the bathroom mirror: 'I go, I'll join you for lunch from Linds'.

"Please do not fuss with breakfast, I broke my head," asked Brian and his son looked at him with liquid eyes and swallowing very publicly.

"What?" Asked Brian to-skin sensing the discomfort of Gus.

The boy blinked and looked down on the toilet where cereals were already taking the texture of seaweed and sticky you put the spoon beginning to stir. Brian looked at the animal food that was being formed that morning and thought that Gus would not have had breakfast.

"Sorry dad, but last night I was going to drink and ..." She bit her lip decided not to look at the father for fear of being scolded for having kicked his nose into business that did not concern him "I heard arguing ..."

Brian inhaled through the nose without taking his eyes from the hypnotic spin of milk into the cup.

"Sometimes it happens that adults Gus quarrel, it means nothing, the mothers do not ever fight?"

Gus nodded without even looking up at her father that she placed her nape with a sad look, well aware of what it means to hear their parents argue.

"Gus, do not worry. I assure you that nothing has happened. It's all right. Some Scazzi sometimes happens. You know how we did and Justin, "chuckled the hope of being convincing.

The boy finally got a look at him and merely nodded forcing a smile.

Brian stared again at the fuzzy cup, he knew that was not enough and not enough for him because his son was not an idiot.

The tone of the quarrel was not that of 'normal Scazzi' and, especially, Gus had probably heard a lot about her sister and the woman who had given birth which had never been informed before. It also had probably realized that Justin had done something with this woman he had met, had made to meet Scarlett.

"Gus," called attention to the child.

"I do not like milk dad ..."

Brian nodded once sighed and moved the cup from one side of the kitchen bench with the back of your hand.

"I'm not angry because you've heard. Had to be careful we do not you, "she reassured him and heard a slight sigh of relief in the first chest of the child.

"If there's something you want to ask Gus, ask me no problems, I'll answer," offered Brian giving the child not only reassurance but, more importantly, trust.

Confidence that could not only ask but also understand the answers.

***

Laureen, as Brian the night before, had heard the story of Justin river without flinching and without ever interrupting.

When he realized that the story was finished with the bathroom door that had closed in the face of Justin, he cleared his throat and rested his elbows on the desk, crossing her hands.

"What did you ask me," he asked trying not to show off a tone too professional. Refrained from any comment because he would not be a judge of a situation so complicated without the first would be required.

Justin looked at her with rapt with fear, he understood all too well: "If you can ..."

"What?"

"What memories Scarlett, one day ..."

Laureen nodded once with arched eyebrows: good sign. Justin was worried about his daughter and not for himself, and the delicate situation in which it was found with Brian and, of course, caused him as much frustration and anxiety.

The woman leaned back on the comfortable chair and began to fiddle with the arms of the glasses: "There is evidence that no cognitive memory remains in the mind of a person conscious of what happens from zero to three years. There remain only the feelings of serenity and deep as opposed to terror, but no visual memory can bring to light a situation seen or heard within that age range. The reason is very simple, until three years the capacity logical reasoning of a child does not exist and then failing to give a name to what he sees or feels, he can not catalog it. I do not know what I mean, "Justin said and nodded nervously passing his tongue over his dry lips.

"What's different from three years onwards. From that age the child begins to develop the language of logic and then give a name to what he sees or hears. It grows more than the memories fit in the archive of the brain in an increasingly ordered. Obvious that with increasing age ninety percent memories disappear but some situations are very clear in the minds of everyone. Who does not remember some facts dating back to kindergarten, for example? "Shrugged his shoulders -" so the answer to your question is 'yes', could remember. "

"Perfect," Justin bitter spat out running a hand over his forehead.

"The point that escapes me Justin, however," went on to do his usual pragmatic - "Is how this is a problem for you or Brian. If you intend, as you said, talking about Luise, to show her the picture, what can be so terrible to think that you can also view it a day? "

Justin frowned surprised eyebrows: just the woman did not understand? She 'escaped the point'? He shook his head in disbelief: "But how? Brian is right, if ... "

" Brian is right? " she interrupted emphasizing the wonder.

Justin's mouth closed in an expression Laureen surprised and shook his head with a slight smile surprised: "So if Brian is right, what you said, that he was fighting the ghosts of his fears, against his own mental projections and not against a real, objective danger to all the little stupid things you thought were "asked Justin putting even aware of his action, so well known now Michael. Everything you said was heard before him, shall be recorded and used against you if necessary. And without that, to do this, she should at straws, even the arguments were unassailable in their logic.

"No, no ... I thought the" mess Justin feeling like when he was plucked from interrogation to surprise the teacher and had not studied.

"So Brian has no reason," notes Laureen obvious opening hands and smiling as he always did when it showed its claim with the same mathematical logic that applies to the fact that two plus two make four , whatever you try to stir.

Justin sighed, to the strings. "I fucked up," he murmured as if to feel entirely to blame for something even by an authority in the field of mental paths.

"This is beyond any doubt Justin," she agreed cold.

Justin felt impatient and angry, and Laureen noticed that the head snapped sideways, the smile that was printed in the face and eyes became lively and attentive.

the tough guy. Precisely for this reason he said the true saying that he was the last person he expected to see in his study. Contrary to what Michael thought, an appeal of Brian would surprise a lot less.

"So if it is beyond any doubt ..." Justin began with an air of arrogance to the limit, "Brian ..."

"Brian is scared, terrified ... " she interrupted.

"Let me finish," asked Justin and Lauren decided she could not suppress a smile aware - "No you do not let him finish Justin. I'm not your best friend and even the priest confessor. Right now I'm a professional at what you intended to get some 'clarity. Clearly that I can give only if I can get out of the short circuit in which neurotic you are at this moment. "

" Short Circuit neurotic? "

She shook to assume the head with: "You came here to get my professional opinion, or groped to convince me what you think is right or wrong? Why in the first case I can help, in the second, I'm sorry, but they are all and only your own business. "

All boldness Justin deflated like a cake halfway through cooking. Laureen waited a moment then nodded and continued: "As I was saying the opposite of what you Brian, rationally not bat an eyelid. This is exactly the same thing that I would have said. You have not done anything irreparable or even nothing so serious. But he does not react to reality, but fears that this reality, have awakened. "

Justin looked down in a submission that if he wanted to continue talking with her, it was necessary.


"The fact remains that what you did shows that at thirty un'impulsività child might be able to handle the case of a little 'more," she ruled so why not start to bask too complacent.

blue The boy looked up at her without speaking.

"And I think that is why, from an objective point of view, without necessarily having to be a psychiatrist to understand it, is what has angered Brian. In addition to the frustration of having excluded once again. "

Justin's face relaxed into an expression truly sad.

"The question is ..." continued the woman without a grant a moment of respite - "Why do not you trust Brian?"

Justin put his hands over his eyes weary sigh: "I came to talk about Scarlett and what can happen to her in consequence of what I did. "

Laureen closed his eyes staring at him with their tongues planted in between the teeth," What will happen to Scarlett now or in the future depends everything from the question that I've done before Justin. You are a couple of parents who have to relate to a daughter who will undoubtedly one day to ask yourself questions and concerns. Do not you think that the basis of your relationship are crucial for these responses? Do not you think the harmony, mutual trust and common vision of what is best for her to be basic? "

Justin's arms on the armrests of his chair collapsed.

"Yes"

'How Deep Is Your Love' - Take That

http://www .youtube.com / watch? v = gDbI81Tdx8U

****

"You know the mother of Scarlett," asked Gus to do even fearful.

Brian breathed from his nose and pinched the root of it with thumb and forefinger. Then threw a glance at the stairs to make sure that Scarlett was not around and looked at his son in the face: "Yes, yes indeed."

"So it was not an orphan ..."

Brian cleared his throat trying to find the best way to explain to a child because the adult world is not bi-color as theirs. Not everything was black or white.

"Gus was an orphan, because ..." she stopped snorting. It was more difficult than any problem had occurred to Kinnetik over the years had never been - "a mother because, by law, may decide not to keep her child. "

Gus Her eyebrows bent in the middle of the forehead in a quizzical look:" That a mother is a child and then abandons him, "he asked incredulously.

"It happens, yes," Brian confessed candidly knowing that Gus was a discovery for disarming.

"Why," asked only that the child causing a feeling of tenderness in Brian, opposite to that simple question - even for adults that was often that recurred in the mind astonished - he had to tighten the jaws to avoid being overwhelmed.

sighed with a slight smile on his face and put a finger to move the hair from in front of her son's eyes, thus giving it a gentle caress, "I do not know why Gus, I know that sometimes happens. The mother is not only the person who brought you into the belly, but it is mainly the person who loves you beyond everything. Mel is not your mom brought you in the womb but from Mom loves you. Is your mother with Lindsay. Just as I love Justin and Scarlett. And it is That's what makes the people of the 'mothers' and 'dad' Gus. Just this. You do not need a blood relationship, love does not need the ties of blood. "

Gus Brian smiled and nodded skeptical.

"What is a bond of blood," asked the father in child causing a slight laugh. Brian walked the perimeter of the kitchen counter and went to the child receiving him in an embrace.

*****

"I have confidence in Brian," Justin ruled in a trembling voice.

"No you do not trust Brian," with Laureen opposed to dry and straightforward.

"Yes!" Justin opposed to the brink of tears.

"If you cry, you can do Justin, there is nothing wrong, especially when you have every reason to do it," Laureen suggested in a tone so sweet that collapsed the banks of the boy. Justin's mouth tensed, his eyes became slits of water swollen, his face flushed and his hands went to rest again on the eyelids to finally accept the outburst.

Laureen waited without speaking until Justin pulled up the nose, sighed deeply, and wiped the drops of salty cheeks: "I hurt so much all these years "ruled disarmed in the face of an awareness that had always been there, somewhere.

"He never hurt you?" She asked carefully, watching from above his chin resting on interlaced fingers.

Justin nodded, "Yes, but ..."

"Yes but Justin does not mean anything," she interrupted him again - "Yes. Point. Neither did it out of malice or sadism, so there is no more suffering justified and the other even more important than the guilt. In fact there are no sins, only ... "he sighed with a smile Laureen aware -" the natural consequences of a relationship of two people who love each other and decide to share a lifetime. The integration between these two people, the process of adaptation, the difference of character. Not to mention that beyond the rhetoric of any finding, are the people we love most those who do usually suffer. Difficult to hurt those who do not love because we do not care about him. And you love very Brian, right? "

Justin nodded with new tears began to flow in the dreamy eyes and a smile:" It was the love of my life, and will forever! "

Laureen smiled and tried to swallow the emotion that Justin had caused in her throat: "You have no idea how many people around the world have the chance to talk about a 'love of their life' without use a verb in the past without thinking of someone who no longer or have never been able to get? Few, very few, and you're one of those Justin.

Justin felt a deep warmth spread from his chest and red face to those words: "I know," he admitted.

"So why always put your relationship at risk? Why do not you trust him? "

" But I trust him, "insisted the boy.

"No Justin, and anyway even if it did not is certainly what we perceive Brian. Can not prove it. Why do you doubt your intentions in words and his ability to understand the facts, "she expounded without knowing too much. But he had seen them together, he talked to Shawn and Justin had heard the speech.

So it was enough to get an idea of how to travel that relationship: a relationship between two people temperamentally poles apart but they were compensating for a time the limits of the other. And this was what bound them together so tightly: the respect and mutual appreciation for what one had and the other is not.

course, Laureen estimated, such a relationship can be easily fraintendile, create fractures and misunderstandings.

Justin silent submerged by the weight of that truth. It was not even two weeks before her who have questioned once again after years of real conviction Brian had chosen to have a family.

Laureen sighed waiting. He did not want to ask the boy as he would a patient because he was not, but did not even want to pose confidant friend: it was not not even that.

"You know that for people it is much easier to talk about their defects of its virtues," he asked seemingly changing the subject.

Justin looked at her quizzically, unable to understand the relationship of that statement.

Laureen smiled: "Put a person in front of three and explain its shortcomings, counter-battery, argue. Put it in front of three of its merits and will feel embarrassed, I could only stammer a shy gazie . "

Justin smiled," Do not Brian, he watches you as if to say 'wonderful discovery'! "

Laureen laughed heartily and showed agreement with the boy: "True. But we're not talking about Brian. Now let's talk about you. Tell Justin, because Brian is in love with you? Because of all those who have certainly tried to accalappiarselo, the contract is right in front of you? "

" exhaustion, " The boy smiled serenely self-deprecating air.

"Not so you know. But I want to know if you know the reason but it is also in love with you. What did you saw that made him understand that you were the person with whom to share a lifetime, even to have a child? "

Justin sighed, looking away and uncovering surprisingly short of arguments.

was a question that had never been placed and now he was astonished not to have a real answer.

"I know why I'm in love with him ..."

"I want to know if you know why he is in love with you."

" I do not really ... I know ... "

Laureen aware nodded:" But I, yes, but you have to get there alone. "

" a little help? "attempted with sly boy.

Laureen shook his head with a smile on his face just as smart.

Justin slapped a hand on his thigh and was closed in the back: "I do not know, probably at the beginning saw in me a person to drive, maybe I was tenderness."

"Why did you tenderly?" Laureen asked already knowing the answer but was having to give to Justin.

"I do not know, because I was young, inexperienced ..."

"Yes, of course, Brian is known to the person who is moved in front of the helpless little puppies, right?" She asked rhetorically knowing full well that doing so was not.

"No," Justin admitted.

"So?" She continued undeterred.

Justin sighed anxiety as had never happened, not even in the face of professors at the art institute examinations.

"Perhaps my stubbornness has intrigued by a certain point of view ..."

Laureen narrowed his eyes with an inquiring smile on his face: it was so close, to a single step but still could not see the answer.

"Why is Brian so a friend of my sister?" He asked, again unexpectedly.

"Why is it so a friend of your sister? "

" It does not seem to understand a difficult question, Justin. "

" Well, because ... because it certainly has the character Brian admired: strong, confident, ironic. And especially because he holds his head and despite what I call delusion of superiority Brian, he is attracted to and respect people who do not fear him, who held his head, with which it can have an equal relationship . The same goes for Debbie, the mother of Michael. Brian always listens and always because she is not intimidated by him, because he says what he thinks and does not feel inferior to him. "

Laureen silent with raised eyebrows and looked at Justin , with a questioning look.

"You've already said everything I want," she ruled in his course, but do absolutely cryptic to those who listened.

"In what way?"

The woman left go to a frustrated sigh that normally, with patients receiving treatment, he kept to himself.

"Why does anyone have a solution before our eyes but can not read it?" Asked the ceiling.

Justin rubbed his forehead: "I do not follow."

convinced She nodded: "You talk about Shawn and Debbie in a coherent, fluid. Make a discussion of what pleases them that Brian does a turn and is not enforceable in any way, but becomes a stuttering child when you talk about you. You really do not you recognize yourself in this type of character? "

Justin did not answer, just stared at her blue eyes in the green of her.

"You submit to you Brian?"

"No," Justin smiled - "Not really."

nodded Laureen : "The keep your head or take everything he says at face value?"

"The head I hold," Justin admitted.

"So?" The woman said almost impatiently.

"So?"

"It will not be this that has fascinated you? He chased you and you came back, he is determined to keep you and you're gone, you've struggled to get what you wanted in life, you never let go of the despair and, above all, you've done everything with him, but no 'thank you' to him. I would have done regardless. It will not be perhaps that he loves you? "

Justin looked down just as Lauren had predicted he would do: make a compliment to someone and cause embarrassment.

"Your strength, your stubbornness, your passion, your values, what you believe. Can you understand this? You are the person to whom he, although apparently so strong and safe, it can rely on, with which it can be himself. Admire your passion because he wants it too. "

"But if that's what brought us to this," said Justin confused, holding a hand to indicate the desk Laureen gestures to define the 'this' was referring to.

"No! It was not your passion to bring you this. It was an impulsive to do so. It is here that you can not distinguish quality from your own limits. "

Justin closed his mouth and leaned back in his chair with reflective air.

"In one gesture you have shown that you can not logically oppose a brake impulsivity, that even the presence of your daughter can let you oppose and that this also takes you to cut him off. That's why it's so ... "

" Furious, "Justin finished for her, wrong.

"No. It is not furious. It is disappointed, is frustrated and demoralized. "

Justin felt as if Laureen's had planted a knife in the chest.

"But this is even worse!" Opposed disbelief and despair.

"Definitely yes," Laureen confirmed with a placidity that Justin was asked if he was talking to him just for pure fun and sadistic staff.

'Gave It All Away' - Boyzone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n8fxrejX78

** ***

Brian smiled a radiant smile to the face of her child: a smile that his childhood had not been reserved for ever. And, perhaps just like Justin, he wondered how it was really possible.

"Now Gus," began to do serious with getting the attention of his son - "I've been informed of something important, they were aware of only adults. I gave you confidence. What do you think that I expect from you, "asked not inquisitorial tone but equal. Gus felt empowered by a father who finally spoke with him from 'big'.

He looked down and sighed slowly to reflect: "That's not to say it because Scarlett is too young to understand."

Brian smiled and Gus's eyes lit up.

"Right," confirmed his father, "and do not even ..." he asked in a small but important final exam.

"Even when I would do it out of spite because it makes me turn the balls. Oops, sorry ... "

Brian burst into merry laughter. "Do not apologize," said an accomplice ruffling his hair - "I know I would not feel very well and another way to define it myself! "

The child laughed and clapped his palm to his father who had raised before him.

THIRD TIME

Film With Explicit Scene

QAF Season 8-Episode 11 - First time

"You know that look fearful as a child who has just confessed to a naughty? You take it off the face kicking. "

The silence that filled the house after the whispered sentence but Rift Brian resounded in his ears to Justin.

Brian had been silent throughout the film, had not said a word. It was limited to stare into his eyes, sitting on the couch where Justin had accompanied him by the hand. His silence, the lack of response, had created anxiety in the young growing throughout the film.

Once concluded there was a long moment of silence, which had seemed eternal, and then Brian had spat out the sentence. Without taking his eyes from his, with flatly that all had the final ruling.

The boy sighed on the verge of tears that was imposed to keep: it was not a child and, above all, a request would have seemed pitiful to which Brian would reverse all its fury.

The man looked at him for a moment then got up and walked to the bathroom.

"Brian ..?"

"Tell me."

"Where are you going?" Asked the astonished young man, still sitting on the couch.

Man shrugged his shoulders: "In the bathroom and then to bed. O'clock in the morning does not seem so strange as a choice. "

Justin unarmed observers sewing the leather cushion thrown on the floor.

"Brian, we need to talk."

He saw his back stiffen and tense of the companion as a bow. Prepared mentally for the shield of the arrow that would body in the heart.

"Talking" asked Brian staying calm. Terribly and eerily quiet. He went down three steps back and stopped in the middle of the room with your arms at your sides. In a pose reminiscent of a rag doll devoid of any support. "You've already done all Justin. What you want to talk now? Do not you think that perhaps it was appropriate to speak first? "

Justin sighed and shook his head:" I can close this ... "

not could even think about the idea of feeling terrible, defeated and angry that Brian tried to time and the fact that they would not be debated. The lack of comparison has always made him vulnerable. He could face anyone, especially Brian and his tantrums, but he could not handle the silence that accused him incessantly. Why the silence you can hear the voice of the accuser's largest, the most terrible, the less manageable: yourself.

"can not close it because you have decided that can not close it," asked Brian challenge - "What did you need me to tell you? What is okay? What are quiet? That tomorrow I go? "

" No, I just want to explain ... "

" It's ALL FUCKED EXPLAINED THAT EVENING! MORE AND MORE EXPLAINED me want to take the slap, SO PLEASE MAKE A: LET ME GO TO SLEEP! "

The scream was loud as the thunder of a lightning bolt had crashed directly into the house. Justin could almost hear the windows shake, as the veins were shaking in meat.

"Do not scream, there are children in the" only managed to whisper and Brian let out a hearty laugh: "Children? Interested children now? "He asked getting closer and closer to his companion and hiss the accusation before the nose.

Justin looked at him incredulously, "What does this mean?" He asked trying to get up from the ground but without the security that his legs would have cancer.

Brian shrugged his shoulders showing off the most successful its wicked giggles: "You nearly fucked up the life of my daughter and now you worry that you might wake up?"

Justin's mouth opened in a ' oh 'of stunned amazement but no sound was able to vibrate the vocal cords.

Brian turned to go: as far as he was concerned the discussion ended there.

"I have not told Scarlett that she was his mother!" He appealed desperately Justin's vision that Brian had received an unexpected visit to Luise.

Brian laughed her back to him: "If I did not now you would have more of a companion and a daughter, I assure you," ruled with a firm that everything was definite.

"Then why do you say that I almost fucked up my life?"

Brian just laughed again and ears to Justin perceived as the laughter the sound of chalk on a blackboard; joined him in a stride and grabbed his arm: "Listen ..."

But Brian struggled so so angry that Justin was thrown back and it was only thanks to the column that he found on his reeling backward path that did not fall to the ground.

Again, the oppressive silence of a few moments before. Just ripped each other's breathing heavy. Justin's eyes grew moist and Brian clenched his jaw until you feel pain for not being able to hit him really.

"It can not Brian had understood nothing, believe me, I told you in detail the meeting, there is no danger for Scarlett! "Justin begged really believing and hoping to be able to make that clear also to Brian.

And Brian knew. Not that there were dangers, but Justin, as often happened, we really believed. He narrowed his eyes and sighed, sitting exhausted on the steps leading to the sleeping quarters and holding his head in his hands.

Justin expectations. He knew that a simple 'A' would have caused a disaster. Brian had to wait times, give time to contain the raging thoughts with that simple act of shaking his head and finally start talking.

After a few moments Brian got a look about him that was a mixture of anger and fatigue. A look so sad and defeated Justin wanted to cry for him and for him alone.

"How many times have we talked about the future of Scarlett," he asked without waiting for an answer really - "How often have, together or on our own, we spent sleepless nights thinking about the day when we ask why she does not have a mother? A haunt of when, physiologically, feel the overwhelming desire of the figure that all fairy tales, poems, advertisements, social conventions is said to be the most important person in the world and she will never have? And what do you do? "He asked in a bitter smile and disarming," I offered her a mom on a silver platter and then carried it off. "

Justin tried frantically to the words in a brain drained by the claims of Brian. Nothing that was opposing the companion was expected.

course had expected anger, rage, feeling excluded once again, but not this.

"He can not know that his mother is" opposed once again. He was sure, he was sure he had not leaked anything. It was the first thing he had thought. Because Brian did not believe him?

"Now he can not know Justin. But you're so sure that one day, when they see the photos that we had to when he grows up, something in his brain brings to mind the fucking afternoon of the first year in which the woman has had before his eyes? Why no one said it was his mother? Why are they denied to call a person 'Mom' at least once in your life? "

For every word of Brian, Justin sank deeper into mire of unbelief:" It can not ; remember Brian, is too small ... "

" You can not know a fuck about what and what to remember no! "Brian's voice rose again:" You tend to see a person who is dying, and that alone is enough, you put in front of a woman who bore her, but rejected it and also you need to argue this, have you done to impress in the memories of a person's face that she will try for a lifetime, even after death because it will no longer be a phantom profile uncertain that 'mom' that fail, but will have specific traits and features. And if you do it? " churches getting pushed by the fury that was refitted to advance it toward his companion in spite of trying every way to help himself. "You did it for her, perhaps? In an absurd as perverse desire to give her something? "A new incredulous laugh escaped his lips -" No! You did it for Luise! Luis ... "he repeated again but in a venomous hiss -" Once again Luis! "

Justin's chin trembled, and the boy was unable to block it. His whole body was shaking. Why suddenly allegations of Brian seemed so ... right!

The man shrugged his shoulders: "You know, if you had done for Scarlett, I opened the head of your cock blonde finally understand how to reason, but ironically I would have understood more. But you have not done for her. Have you used my daughter to do your good deed, to stop having nightmares at night, get right with a consciousness that haunts you for five years. So in hindsight, you did not even for Luise. It is for yourself that you did. For your stupid, childish, arrogant self-interest. Have you used my daughter Luise and also to start to sleep at night. "

" It is also my daughter, "cried Justin in the one sentence that had appeared to the brain. A brain implode he felt as if someone had really opened up my head and crushing them with bare hands.

Brian nodded, "And maybe this is just a misfortune."

Justin realized he had dropped the slap just for the intense burning that felt in the hand.

He felt the breath of Brian and his stop, mate in the stillness of their bodies.

had arrived.

After years in which they were always able to stop the edge, the time had come when the footing he had slid into a point of no return where they would be crashed.

Brian did not respond except for his eyes lowered to the floor, in a consideration, Justin was convinced, exactly equal to his.

"You can not really think so," sentenced the young man with such a burden of sadness and horror in his voice that he would prefer to die at that exact moment rather than face such a belief on the part of companion.

Brian's eyes clouded by tears blur that you do not even remember how you did more crying. He inhaled and closed his eyes bowing the neck back.

"No," said then reopen it and fix those off of Justin - "I do not really think."

She had never thought of and did not think now. Because if he had come only the slightest doubt, as previously threatened, neither he nor Scarlett would have been more there.

Justin exhaled a shaky breath and wiped a furtive tear.

Brian put his hand on her neck and began to massaggiarselo to soothe the muscles contract and the storm that was taken down inside his skull and went to light a cigarette.

"You know," murmured from the kitchen counter, without looking at him - "Scarlett is my life, I love her more than he loves anyone else. But there are times when ... "

Justin closed his eyes appealing to a God in whom he did not believe that Brian did not say. Did not say what the premise would have yelled that.

"... when I think I had better not be born, or rather, that we had not taken us. That something had intervened to prevent us from adopting it. Too much mess, too many decisions to be her in our fight, too many mistakes, too much selfishness ... "

Justin heard the roar of the floor that would spring open under the feet swallowing her whole being, leaving only the empty shell of his mortal body. But nothing was left of him but a sarcophagus of flesh and blood.

Brian stared at him back, his elbow on the table, the hand to hold my head's too heavy.

And Justin finally realized. It felt a kind of understanding worth overwhelming for Brian. A feeling similar to what only a parent can try, or a person whose love goes beyond any territory explored by the human mind.

He was not the only one to have anxieties about Scarlett was not the only one smashing the brain about what would happen in the future, as they would have faced. Brian was with him. In the grip of fear of making a mistake. Never mind though, has always boasted indifference and logical solutions.

know him from a life now, had always been so, may once again if he had not realized? He was terrified of doing something, anything that would have ordered the destruction of their children's lives.

And the terror of Brian was ten or twenty times higher than that of Justin. Because Brian had felt on his skin the meaning of the mistakes of their parents. And perhaps he had sworn to himself that his children would never suffer for his carelessness, indifference, wrong.

And that terror was now speaking, which made him hope to have a second occasion on which Scarlett was not his daughter.

He had told the court many years ago? 'real parents, for the sake of the children, are willing to give up their' . It was this thought that now? For the love she felt for Scarlett desired time has never been his father. Thereby nullifying all that good, extraordinary, he, Brian, had given and was giving that little girl.

And he understood the anger of Brian hours had nothing to do with him, but with all his fears che si erano presentate a richiedere un improvviso conto da sempre posticipato.

Fu questo a dargli la forza di non cedere, di non mollare e di dirigersi verso il compagno.

Gli poggiò con delicatezza la mano a stringere leggermente una spalla, con un gesto lento, come avrebbe fatto con una tigre ferita.

Quando non percepì alcuna opposizione da parte dell’uomo fece salire la mano alla sua testa e gli carezzò i capelli. “Brian…” sussurrò ingoiando il nodo che gli soffocava the throat.

The man did not move, did not answer. "Brian, listen to me please," pleaded but firm tone, adult. So strong and confident that the man turned to observe it.

Justin shook his head: "Regardless of the shit ... no doubt I did, try to realize that in reality nothing has happened to malfunction. You're projecting anxieties that I understand, but at the moment are not real. "

We waited for an ironic chuckle that instead of the companion stood staring at him. She licked her lips: "You are so anxious because you know that Scarlett has seen the woman who gave birth to her, but she does not know. You're thinking with your fears daughters of an awareness that you have, but she did not. I swear I'm not saying for pararmi your ass! "It was true.

The only thing I wanted to Justin now was to abandon Brian anguish. At any cost. Then he could stay angry with him for a lifetime, if that was what had to happen. But he had save Brian from the abyss that even in his mind, yet so strong, we were open.

"It is said that if we remember and fear that it might happen, then we'll see the photos. When we talk about the Luise say exactly what we wanted to tell her long ago. We will not tell who has seen it and we will not see the picture. "

Brian nodded:" The minds then? "

Justin shrugged:" We do not do nearly every day? Santa Claus, you who were loved by your father, the grandmother who lives in another country, that you do not Linds only upset Gus go to the games, which you just to have it accepted at a college you pretended to be the husband of Linds? These are lies? "

Brian sighed and looked down his nose.

"The truth at any cost is not true that it is always best. To protect our children sometimes are the secrets, "said the boy stroking the cheek of the fellow -" and those who think it is more easy, well, or not have children, or do not love them enough. Because only a parent who loves his son is ready to support the weight of a secret just to protect it. We decided one day to tell her that Luis had decided for his own good not to recognize it and trust us. Is not this a lie? But with the heart that you can tell your son that his mother looked at it and said 'I do not want ' . We will know the truth and to support the weight of the secret truth. Scarlett is not for support. What happened today will not change anything, if it is left unsaid. "

Brian sighed and closed his eyes and Justin felt his muscles relax. He felt a sense of relief so great that he cried with happiness.

"You should have said," Brian ruled rising from the table and going to the chaise longue, where he threw himself staring at a point in space, his hand rubbing his chin.

"I told you why I did not. I did not want to upset the presence of Luise, which meant nothing. "

Brian laughed ironic but Justin did not give trouble. It was back to him and that was what Justin wanted.

"I saw how it meant nothing!"

The boy inhaled deeply and shook his head: "Did not I kept quiet design what I did today. If so I would go to her as soon as I knew, almost a month ago. I told you, since I knew I started to think and think and dream and now the instinct guided me and ... "he paused.

It had been explained, but not stopped for that reason. He stopped because the more he tried to explain her action, the more he lost all meaning for him. "I'm sorry. I should tell you yes, and give you play. You would have prevented me to go and ... "

" I what? "Brian asked suddenly attentive to sudden sitting down directing with his back.

Justin looked surprised and shook his head.

"Tell me one time when I stopped to do something. Above all, tell me once that while trying to do it, you have not done the same. "

Justin bit the inside of his lip, looking down.

"But here is the problem Plums, right? I do not try to stop you from doing what you think is right because I do not care. This is what I think. "

"No," said Justin decided.

"That's what you always thought of me, always," Brian shrugged, tossing his head side - "I do not believe that you had abstained in the years to put the aware of all the shit that you have done nothing for fear of my reaction. It's just that I thought I'd be screwed, or worse, that I would not have understood. Because you're sensitive to that and I cynical. "

" Brian ... "tried Justin, but the levees were broken.

"How many times have I tried to talk to you bumping against your ideals and sense of right? When you embark on the pink posse of bullshit I had to do? Bind you in the house? I only hoped you were smart enough to understand the disaster that only he would do. But this does not mean that I was talking to Daphne, with Michael and ... "Brian laughed at himself and shook his head -" Even with Ben. Yes, even with Ben I tried to understand, to understand, to achieve what was so important for you. But you you're not trusted never me. Did you go straight on your way, and the same thing you did with Luise, and beginning today. "

Justin let down on the cushions on the floor, overwhelmed by the sentence that had the sound of truth. Perhaps he was right Brian? Did not give him credit, he was convinced would not understand.

years urged him to talk, to open up, but in the end it was he who was closing.

He rubbed his forehead puffing of himself: "In many ways you're right, but not this time. Luise not was a problem, why do not I told you, "Brian looked into his eyes to make sure that this time because he believed was the truth.

The man did not answer and Justin continued, "And you're right that I should speak up. In the end I would have done, true, but I would have gone without Scarlett, I'd only talked to her and maybe I would have showed a picture. "

Here!

The rational solution is the parade had in mind in all its simplicity. Sense and Sensibility would find a just agreement.

Brian, his nose suddenly giggled: "I would have done, of course. But you asked if she wanted you to do? "

" What? "

Brian got up from the chaise long to unwind after walking through the loft-eyed Justin's question.

"I think I made this huge act of human compassion, pity, I did the 'good'. But what is good for you does not mean that it is for you Justin, that's what you do not understand at this point and I doubt that'll never understand. "

" It was glad to see you! It was moved, excited. He saw that not everything she did in life is to be thrown in the toilet! "The boy pleaded with emphasis -" I think everyone, beyond the errors committed, should be given a chance "

Brian raised his eyes to the ceiling, his hands fastened to the sides: "It is obvious that Justin was moved and excited," he said in a tired whisper. He seemed to talk to Gus and Scarlett when they persisted in not wanting to understand the stubbornness of children. "She has betrayed you and you in an extreme act of piety have swallowed the pride and have brought on a silver platter redemption. But are you sure this is a good thing? "

Justin stared at him in silence and Brian shrugged his shoulders:" What if you had put in front of the biggest regret of his life ? If I had it shown how you could be there for her in life and how much has thrown in the toilet and now submerged by a sense of guilt and worthlessness are killed, for example, "he asked with sly as he had just sentenced a landscape horribly tragic.

Justin could not even swallow.

"For me it would be the best thing that could happen," cynical specific lighting up another cigarette - "but for you?" Churches with fiery eyes turned to look at: "For you, then what would it be?"

Justin's chin trembled, the brain incapable of providing even the slightest opposition.

Brian chuckled again, "You do 'good', but what is good, Justin? An absolute value? You know that if a starving child from a plate of pasta and a cup of hot chocolate to make your stomach explode? "

" Do not be absurd comparisons "were keen the boy still sitting on the pillows.

"Is it really so absurd? Do good when you are not required. You did what you , in your mind, you thought was the right thing. Why did you have a dream. Because for you, Justin, is impossible to think that someone could give birth to Scarlett, Scarlett and your caring really. You have projected on them your feelings but it is said that they were his. You you've set your 'good', your conscience is clear and now Scarlett O'Hara, in your dreams die in peace. But it was your dream, not of Luise. "

" I do not think you're right ... "muttered Justin while security ostentatious previously took the same ability to stand like a castle card.

Brian looked at him as the same section and nodded: "So Luise is alive, and apparently still frequents the Pittsburgh area. Perfect. He saw Scarlett and remained 'surprise'. This does not tell you anything? "

Justin got a sad look on the fellow that sat up in front of him. He just swallow.

"You know what to say to me? That was a little surprised if in five years means that you have never placed the question of where she was his daughter or the same as you. "

" She could not know where he was and then ... "

"Enough," cried Brian crouching in front of him and make the face in his hands. But it was an affectionate gesture, it seemed that would make him shoot out of the brain, perhaps to decode once and for all the tortuous paths that had impressed - "He could not know, but he could imagine, or hope ..." whispered ; lethal on his face: "If interested, if it had been seized from a minimum of curiosity would have been enough to pass by the house every now and then, without being seen. Not to mention the fact that I know that five years ago, for six months, the city was plastered with posters bearing a picture of you and Scarlett and the caption 'Justin Taylor and daughter'! " He snorted a cynical chuckle nose, shaking his head: "I wonder how many times you will be bored in one of those." He left Justin's face and shrugged his shoulders to make clear: "Maybe if instead of having the upturned nose perpetually to his arm, he had raised would know. But it was 'surprise' ... "ridiculed with a smile that Justin would have gladly taken to slap the face -" It was a surprise because you yourself or Scarlett never give a shit about anything ! And you know you do not accept this, but now that you begin to do so. For the good of your own, and especially that of your daughter. "

Justin inspired trembling nose and looked down with nothing to oppose. It was true, Brian was right. He projected his feelings and ideals about Luise. Luise But it was not him, it was not ever.

But Justin, every time he watched his daughter sleep or laugh or play taken from his fantasy world, when he saw how beautiful she was, sweet, when he felt the burden of love she felt for her, wondered how could a mother, although she had given birth, really give a damn. It was not possible. Somewhere in his heart he had to be an empty space so as to make them feel the cold void that was created?

Maybe Brian was right. In what we define 'cynicism' and he 'realism' he saw with clear eyes, free from absurd ideals and crusades in the name of good and right, what is the human reality.

ethers hate gays, whites hate blacks, Muslims hate the Catholics, Westerners hate the Arabs, kill men, mothers abandon.

A Justinlandia not happen.

But in the real world.

let out a sad sigh and shaking the fruit of the boy who was still in him. The guy who thought it would change the world, who thought like him all right in the name of a good thing, actually, ever thought, that he thought the boy would not grow anything, that would not die, never, never should have opened eyes and see the reality looks like an adult.

realistic, not cynical.

He got to meet Brian. He wanted a hug, not a pardon, just a hug because he suddenly felt so alone, unarmed ...

Brian looked at him closer, but when it was a few feet away from him, he spoke gelandolo on site: & ldquo and if in this burst of emotion, and awareness you have created in her, that she is dying, he could not keep it all inside and more fragile as only a person who is dying at age 23 can be collapsed and tell everything to his mother? If finally tell the story that the ever told? That of a love, a black hole of despair he thought to fill with drugs and ... a daughter? "

Justin felt the heart and arteries stiffen, as if the IceTina had injected an IV ice.

"Here you think," asked Brian staring at him.

There was no answer, only a rapt with fear.

nodded, "Now you really have something to not sleep at night," ruled first to turn around, go to the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

Justin in the middle of the room stood still, petrified with fear, without a handle, without a helping hand to save him. He felt as if the world had suddenly stopped spinning and all around him were dead.

Gus, blinked several times and closed her mouth, involuntarily, had opened as soon as he heard his father shouting: 'explains more than I growing desire to get a slap '. Had risen to drink, 'for that unexpected had ice cream last step, where he had crouched down out of sight.

In silence, experiencing a feeling of anxiety that never in her young life had caught him before he got up and slowly returned to his room.

'Zombie' - The Cranberries

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ejga4kJUts


SECOND TIME